Then Ireallyconsider his question.
It is hard for me. Change is hard. Trusting people is even harder. The person who was supposed to take care of me ripped my whole life away by sending me here to the Wild Hunt.
My father changed my future. And he changed who I was all at the same time.
If Nollix and I had sex, I’d worry that it was just sex for him, that I pushed our friendship into a gray area just for a few hours of distraction.
“I don’t want to just be a distraction,” he says like he has just read my thoughts.
“I don’t know what you mean. I don’t overthink everything. I’m not looking for a distraction.”
He cocks a brow at me. I ignore his skeptical look.
“I don’t. If you’re afraid you’ll be bad in bed, you can just say that. You don’t have to make excuses, Nollix.”
His lips part, and an outraged smile fills his features. It takes everything in me not to smirk.
“You think I’d be bad in bed?” His gaze lingers on my lips once again, and the tension in my body slips away.
“There’s only one way to find out,” I whisper against his mouth.
I’m taunting him and he’s taking the bait.
His arms wrap around me. His palms push low down my back until my center presses firmly against his erection. The feel of his lips skimming against my jaw has me arching into him. Soft lips press along my throat, his tongue sweeping warmly against my skin.
“I’m not fucking you,” he says between kisses. His teeth rake across my neck, and I shiver against him. “Not even if you beg.” He breathes a kiss against the base of my neck before sucking lightly.
I feel that kiss straight through my core. A moan shakes through my chest.
“I’m not begging you, Nollix.” My hips rock against his as my fingers fist his soft hair.
It has turned into a game suddenly: who will crack first.
I couldn’t guess the winner if I tried. It might very well be me.
His lips meet mine, skimming there just before I rake my teeth across the scar on his lower lip. My hips roll against the hardness beneath his jeans, and his groan rumbles over my mouth.
I’ve had sex once before. Only once. Just before I left. But it never felt like this. There’s this reckless energy that’s soaring all through me, tangling low in my stomach.
The hooded look in his eyes sears into me.
I press a chaste kiss against his lips before standing abruptly.
He leans into nothingness, caught off guard for a few seconds.
He was a good distraction. A short-lived distraction.
But if he wants to see who will win this sexless game, I’ll show him how competitive I can be.
“Good night, Nollix,” I whisper in a pleasant tone.
He closes his eyes before shoving his hands roughly through his messy, black hair.
Yes. Maybe I will win.
14
Merrick
