An hour or two a night is all I ever manage. I used to think it was a Wild Hunt curse, but as I stayed up at night, I realized the men slept just fine.
It’s just me.
How could I ever get to sleep tonight?
Carver keeps his distance, lowering into his own worn seat to our right. His jaw tightens as he watches Cameron closely. Jeriko walks away altogether, fading out into the darkness to be alone, as she normally does. Nollix doesn’t acknowledge any of us. He’s dressed and stands near Carver, but neither of them speak to one another. Our eyes lock from over the tips of the flames, and his hard gaze narrows on my appraising eyes before he, too, strides off into the shadows.
My eyes are heavy but my mind remains restless. Though I’m trying to pretend as if Cameron isn’t there, it’s hard not to notice the way she looks around the camp to examine our small home.
“So, uh, where do you sleep?” Her legs are stretched out toward the fire, crossing at her ankles. The thorough examination of our little neck of the woods has paused as her fingers thread through her hair and start to braid the strands over her shoulder.
It’s so easy to be quiet here in this camp, to ignore her like I’ve ignored everyone else. But my secret is out. They know I can speak. Yet, I still set my jaw.
“Pick a tree, any tree.” Light glints off the knife Carver has pulled out as he whittles away at a stick. He stifles a laugh as Cameron’s gaze lifts up to the treetops.
“Ina tree?”
“In a tree. Under a tree.” There’s a familiar sparkle in his gaze.
An elbow digs into my ribs. “Where areyougoing to sleep?”
Finally, I turn to look at her. Her features are much softer looking with her hair swept away and the makeup scrubbed off her face. She looks... kind. Trustworthy, even.
Looks can be deceiving.
“He’s messing with you. I have a tent ten paces past the first tree. But I don’t sleep a lot, so I’ll probably just sit here by the fire.”
Part of me senses how rude that might be. I’m not a host after all. Most of me doesn’t care.
“Do you wish you could sleep?” Cameron’s question pulls at my attention.
Slowly, I nod.
I do wish I could sleep more. I wish for a few hours, I could escape my constant, looming thoughts about my life or lack thereof.
“Come here.” Her arm is held out to me.
Like an animal expecting a trap, I assess everything about her. The curving frame of her body, the light muscle tone, the sincere smile held in her features.
She seemsharmless. What could she do to me that I couldn’t fight off?
Again, she nods, encouraging me to come closer.
I lean into her, and her warm palm skims over my upper arm as she guides me against her shoulder. Her body melds against mine, her strength holding me up. It’s been so long since I’ve been held like this... that anyone has touched me in a platonic but kind way. It makes my chest ache.
It’s intimate and strange and addicting all at once. Her body against mine is reassuring, and a feeling of safety surrounds me.
I shouldn’t be as comfortable as I am. Honestly, I’m only comfortable because I know I outpower her. Of the four Fae in the Wild Hunt, I’m the quietest. But I’m also the strongest.
“Do you trust me?” she whispers against my hair.
My legs shift against her.
No.
I want to. In a weird way, I want someone—one person at least—whom I can trust in this world.
But I don’t.
