But it was Maria who undid me.
Maria, who stood near the lounge chairs with a drink in her hand andpityin her eyes.
I’d take anger. I'd take disgust. I'd take her calling me every name in the book, throw her drink in my face, flip me off. But notthatlook.
Not like she already thought I lost.
I turned away from them, heat crawling up my neck. My hands were shaking. I flexed them and shoved them into my pockets like that would stop the tremble.
“Let’s go,” Coop said, voice low in my ear. “Before this gets worse.”
“It’s not worse yet?” I muttered, still not looking at anyone.
“You tell me, man,” Bubba said from my other side. “’Cause right now it’s looking a whole lot like a meltdown in surround sound.”
He wasn’t wrong.
The music didn’t cover it up. The laughter didn’t erase it. We’d pulled attention like a black hole in the middle of a sunny backyard. Even the people pretending not to watch werewatching. You can always tell when someone’s listening — the stillness gives them away.
We hada lotof stillness around us.
“C’mon.” Coop gave me a light shove. “We’ll go out front. Cool off. Reassess the war plan.”
Bubba snorted. “It’s not a war, Coop.”
“The hell it isn’t,” I snapped, finally facing them. “You didn’t hear what she said. About him. About them.”
“Iheardit,” Coop said, tight. “Doesn’t mean you get to go nuclear at apool party.”
Bubba tipped his head toward the gate. “Let’s take a walk.”
I looked back once, just once, and saw Frenchy sitting again. Calm. Composed.Still there.
And Archie?
Archie was leaning back in his chair, nursing a drink and watching the world burn like he’d lit the match himself.
I hated them both in that moment.
But I hated myself more.
I followed Coop and Bubba around the side of the house, past the hedge line and the speakers and the patio lights strung like fairy dust illusions over a night gone sour. The second we were out of sight, I dragged both hands down my face, trying to pull myself out of my skin.
Bubba popped open another bottle of beer he must have grabbed on our way past and handed it to me like it was a peace offering.
I didn’t take it.
“I shouldn’t have lost it,” I muttered.
“Nope,” Bubba agreed. “You really shouldn’t’ve.”
“But also,” Coop added, “heiskind of a smug asshole. So, like… partial credit?”
I almost laughed. Almost.
Instead, I dropped to sit on the edge of the fountain. The line of cars around us provided some kind of cover, but it wasn’t like the bricks or stone or even the chrome had any answers.
“She didn’t evenlookat me,” I said. “Not once.”
