Did I push too hard by trying to ensure she would be well taken care of once I’m forced back to work?
It’s only a matter of time.
If I don’t return to Heaven, they’ll dispatch someone to bring me in, and it won’t be a pretty process. My supervisor begrudgingly granted a temporary leave to pursue Levi’s killer. Although he wouldn’t have approved my request if he had known what I intended to do with my free time. That time is dwindling with every passing day, and the more I think about it, the higher my anxiety rises.
If it wasn’t the gift, it must be her newfound bond with Annex. She deserves to be happy with whoever she chooses, but for the life of me, I can’t understand why she would pick him over me.
Oh, like you’re the superior option?
Be real.
You’re not an option at all.
At least he’ll stick around.
He’s also not an emotionally constipated stick-in-the-mud.
I frown. That off-handed comment Annex made when I chose to shower rather than join in on their early morning tryst might have hurt my feelings more than I’d like to admit, especially if I’m still thinking about it days later.
There have been several exchanges when it seemed like Annex was giving me a chance to be friendly rather than adversarial, and I failed at each and every one.
It’s complicated by my vow to Heaven. The more time I spend with Hazel and Annex, the easier it becomes to imagine myself with them, living a more domestic kind of life.
It would come at the steepest of costs.
Not only would I never be able to visit my family again, but I would also lose access to Oathkeeper. I’d be a harvester with no way to feed my magic, and I worry that would drive me just as insane as Levi.
No.
No matter how far gone I was, I would never sink low enough to sexually assault someone.
I might turn into a homicidal maniac, though. There are stories of the terrible things that happen to angels who willingly fall.
Even if I chose to stay with Hazel, I have no guarantee that I wouldn’t become her greatest burden. That’s what holds me back more than any of the other severe consequences I’ve spent hours worrying over. There’s no good option, and that leaves me convinced that choosing the one that will negatively impact Hazel in the least is the only true choice.
Hazel perks up when she opens the lid of the spaghetti with marinara that I purchased for lunch. I went with the same option for myself today. Although I find I have little appetite for it. She sits in the same chair she always does, while I’m on the side next to her, but it feels like she’s miles away.
Perhaps she’s just as confused about where we stand as I am?
If I explained my predicament, would she allow me to visit her when I’m on assignment in the human realm? It would be a dangerous game for both of us if I were being monitored. It doesn’t happen often, but if the higher-ups feel an angel is taking liberties with their time in the human realm, it has been known to happen.
“This was very sweet. Thank you, Zeph.” The little witch reaches over, patting my hand that rests on the table. An electric zap passes between our skin, and we both jolt. She runs her thumb over the top of my hand and frowns. “Are you okay? You seem a little off.”
I scoff. “You’ve barely said a word to me all day.”
“That kinda goes both ways.” Her lips twist downward as her forehead wrinkles. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. The car is awesome. I’m just not sure I’ll ever feel confident driving around a two-ton vehicle. It’s been a bit of an irrational fear for years.”
“I see. I’m sorry I pushed you into something you aren’t ready for.”
“Okay, I don’t know why things got super awkward between us all of a sudden, but I don’t like it.” She pushes her chair back and comes around the table to stand in front of me. “Is this seat taken?”
“Would you like my chair?” I blurt out, my head tilting as I appraise her.
“Gods, we are hopeless.” She laughs, climbing onto my lap. I move to cradle her hips. “I’m sure you’ve sensed that Annex and I bonded. I don’t know where that leaves us, but I was really sad that you didn’t climb into bed with us last night.”
“I tossed and turned all night without your sweet scent to lull me to sleep.” My heart thunders, and I bring a hand to brush her hair back from her cheek. “But I also didn’t want to invite myself in if I was unwanted.”
“Are angels monogamous?”
