Talking about it feels a lot like betraying Zeph’s confidence, but at the same time, it affects me too. It’s not considered gossiping if I’m involved in the situation. Is it?
I’m really regretting not putting more effort into being social. Maybe then I would understand how I’m supposed to handle this situation.
Actually, I’m betting this has never happened to anyone before. At least not in a few thousand years since my kind went extinct.
Being the only one of my species doesn’t help me feel any less lonely, and I find myself blurting out all the details of what transpired at the shop today.
“...he just seemed so upset, and I didn’t like it. Being empathetic is a curse, but it helps me feel confident that he didn’t know his friend was such a shitty person.” My eyes fall shut as that weird ache pulses in my chest all over again. “AndI never feel bad for killing anyone who deserved it, but now I’m realizing there have been others who grieved my victims.”
“Oh, you are all up in your feelings tonight.” Annex nips at my lower lip, and my eyes pop open. “There are those pretty blue eyes I’m so fond of. Listen, I know you’re beating yourself up. I’m sure it’s complicated seeing the other side of things, but the universe created you for a very specific reason. Zephyr has a similar job. He has to understand the call you feel to complete that purpose.”
I snort. “No matter how I spin it, I don’t think he’s going to thank me for killing his friend.”
“Possibly not,” he says, studying my face. “We all know angels can be hypocrites, so maybe he’ll choose to be willfully ignorant. I can only guess at that outcome. At some point, you’re either going to need to be truthful or cut all ties with the angel.”
“Yeah.” I hate that I followed a similar thought process hours ago.
“You’ve got the wholehe’s wildly attracted to youthing going for you.” Annex chuckles. “I’m not exaggerating when I say there’s some hardcore lusting going on where you’re concerned.”
My head tilts as I try to determine if he’s feeling jealous that Zephyr pushed his way into my life. He not only rented a room here, but he also stalked me to work, which makes it sound less sweet than it was.
“Gotcha,” Annex says, causing me to frown. “You’ve got some complicated feelings going on when it comes to the angel.”
“I don’t,” I lie, grimacing. “Okay, I do, but you made it sound weird.”
“Baby doll,” he coos, cracking a lazy smile. “I can feel your sexual desire for him. You’re fond of him. It’s not a big deal. Although, it could get awkward if the two of you fuck and then try to kill each other.” His chest shakes against mine as he lowershis weight onto me. “Hate sex is always intense, though, so there’s that.”
I don’t think I hate Zephyr, at least not anymore. Annex is right. My feelings about that angel are complicated, but I would never assume that just because I grew up in a polyamorous family pack that I have free rein to hook up with whoever I choose.
Pulling my hands from between us, I loop my arms around his neck and run my fingers through his hair. “You asked me to be your girlfriend. That means there won’t be any hate sex?—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don’t be hasty on my account.” Annex smirks, grinding against my core with his zipper. “I’m not possessive, and if you’re taking a break from feeding the normal way, we’re going to have to get creative.”
“What does that mean?” I ask.
Shit.
If I’m draining him dry every time I siphon the extra lust off him, that means we’re going to need to have a lot more sex.
He pecks a kiss on my lips and says, “The power boost that I get from feeding from you is considerably larger than what I get from the crowd at Rut. Hell, it’s more significant than the power I’ve gotten from any partner.”
My forehead wrinkles.
No part of me likes thinking of him with anyone else.
That is a compliment, though.
I think.
At least I’m able to give him a nice little boost to his magic like he does for me.
“So, I’m just saying, you can fuck the angel right out of your system, and it can help fuel us both?—”
“I don’t know how I feel about you with anyone else,” I say, fighting my monster.
She’s a jealous hag, apparently.
Okay, maybe a little of that is me, but I’m totally blaming it on her. It doesn’t matter that my monster is a literal piece of myself.
