This had been her plan, after all. Spend the holidays relaxing and catching up on the shows she’d missed while filmingThe Dance Off. Her poor, neglected DVR was calling her name.
But something stopped her from turning on the TV. Christmas, something she’d told herself multiple times was just another day in the year, seemed to have some sway over her. And she couldn’t just sit here watching a historical time travel drama like it was any old day. Even if it didn’t mean much to her, personally, Christmas meant something to other people.
She finished her coffee, took a shower, then looked for something comfortable to wear. She still didn’t own anything Christmas themed, but—no wait, she did! She still had Lorena’s poinsettia earrings and Naomi’s “Lit As a Christmas Tree” t-shirt, which she’d washed but hadn’t yet returned. She paired the borrowed items with dark wash jeans and ankle boots. The weather had finally gotten the memo that it was winter, and the high was only fifty-three degrees. In Southern California, that was wool coat and Uggs weather. She spritzed her hair with water, then sealed it with a coconut hair oil. And since she was adhering to a theme, she applied Holly Jolly Berry to her lips. It had become her new favorite lipstick.
As she drove, she wondered what Nik was doing with his family. Eating? Opening presents? Singing carols or watching classic Christmas movies? Her own family Christmas traditions involved opening presents during breakfast before a trip to church. Did his family go to church? She hadn’t even asked. It had been years since she’d stepped foot inside one.
Since it was on her mind, she had the car call her parents’ house phone.
Her mother’s sweet, resonant voice rang out from the speakers, bright with surprise. “Well, hi, baby!”
“Hi, Mommy. Merry Christmas.”
“Thanks, baby. I’m so glad you called.” Then, in a muffled tone, she called out, “Roy, Jess is on the phone. Pick up in the other room.”
She’d shown them how to use the speakerphone, but it hadn’t stuck. It hit her then that her parents, for the most part, always called her first. Always said “happy birthday” or “merry Christmas” first. Her childhood hadn’t been easy, certainly, but it hadn’t been all bad, and she knew they loved her.
New Year’s Resolution #1: Call her parents more often.
Her dad’s voice jumped in. “Are you doing anything fun today, Jessie?”
“Hey, Daddy. I’m going to Starlight House to help out.”
“Oh, that’s a lovely thing to do,” her mom said. “And what about that boy from the dancing video?”
Jess tried to keep her tone light. “Um, I don’t know what he’s up to. We’re just friends.”
Were they even that now? And it was a lie—she did know what he was up to. She might not know what he was doing that very moment, but she knew he was celebrating Christmas, surrounded by his family.
As her mom detailed what she was making for dinner and her dad shared all his thoughts on the latest blockbuster action movie, Jess wondered if maybe she’d been holding onto old anger for a bit too long.
Her parents were people. People had flaws. They had their own bullshit that got in the way sometimes. But they weren’t evil. Had their flaws affected her childhood? Yes. But how long was she going to make them guilty for that? She was an adult now. It was time she stopped blaming her parents for her own unhappiness.
And her own poor relationship choices.
It was too late now, but maybe next year she’d visit them for the holidays.
For now, she was going to do the next best thing.
She said goodbye to her parents and parked in the small lot outside Starlight House. From here, she could appreciate the effort they’d made to decorate. Pine boughs and holly outlined the front doors, woven with twinkling white lights. The sky above was overcast, but was due to clear up as the day went on. She swung out of the car and headed for the front doors.
Inside, the lobby contained an explosion of decorations. A tree stood in front of each window, trimmed with a combo of handmade and store-bought ornaments. Icicle lights hung from the ceiling, and the desk was draped with tinsel. They’d been busy since her last visit.
Nik would have liked it.
The thought gave her a pang. She brushed it aside and went up to the older woman sitting behind the front desk. “Hey, Mrs. Fernandez,” she said with a wave.
Mrs. Fernandez looked up from the novel she was reading, blinking at Jess over the tops of her glasses. “Oh, good morning, Jess! Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas,” Jess replied. “I heard you all were on a skeleton staff this week, so I thought I’d come by to help.”
Mrs. Fernandez’s expression softened. “That’s very kind of you. I’m sure the girls will be happy to see you. They’re in the dining hall having breakfast. Naomi’s in there, too.”
“Really?” She hadn’t thought Naomi would be in today, since her family lived just a few hours’ drive south in San Diego. “Thanks, Mrs. F.”
She heard the sounds of celebration from the hallway. Laughing, talking, footsteps squeaking on linoleum, and, of course, Christmas carols.
Jess entered the room as the speakers sang out, “In the meadow we can build a snowman,” and her thoughts turned to Nik once again.
