It was his mother, Oksana. Jess was still in the bathroom, so he accepted the call and held the phone to his ear. “Hey, mamochka. What’s up?”
She talked to him in Russian about their upcoming Christmas plans, his cousin Alex’s pregnant wife, and his dad’s latest woodworking project. While she spoke, Nik got an idea. He outlined it for his mother in Russian.
“Listen, mamochka, I’m seeing this woman, and she’s really special to me. If I can convince her to come, I want to bring her home with me for the holidays.”
Oksana was, predictably, overjoyed that her second wayward son appeared to be settling down with “a nice girl.” Of course Nik could bring her to Christmas with the family.
After he hung up, the bedroom door opened and Jess emerged fully dressed. When she saw him, her shoulders stiffened.
It was a slight move, but he caught it. Something was definitely up. So instead of asking if she wanted to spend the holidays with his family, he said, “You wanna play in the snow?”
She glanced down at his boxers, the only thing he had on, and raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you think you’ll be a little cold?”
“I’ll get dressed.”
“Cool. I’ll make breakfast.” She brushed past him to open the fridge.
Cool, indeed. Her demeanor had taken a turn toward frosty, at complete odds with the heat they’d generated the previous night. If only he had some idea of what was going on in that pretty head of hers, but if he asked, she’d just deflect with a question of her own.
With a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, he got dressed to go out in the snow.
* * *
Playing in the snow.At their age. But this was why Jess had agreed to the whole “holiday dates” endeavor in the first place—to have fun. To prove to herself and Naomi that she did know how to play. So, play in the snow they would.
Besides, it would keep her mind off everything Nik had revealed the night before.
The feelings stirred up by having sex with him were stronger than she’d ever felt, stronger than she was comfortable with, and she was already scared by how much she’d gotten used to spending time with him. They were having the kinds of deep conversations people didn’t usually have after a few dates, at least not in her experience. If she were being honest, the depth of Nik’s devotion scared her a little. What on earth had she done to deserve it? And she was no prude, but sleeping next to someone for the first time was a huge leap in intimacy. She liked it, secretly craved it, but she still didn’t trust it, or herself.
And when he left? What then?
Because he was going to leave. She was sure of it now. TheRaise Your Voiceopportunity was too big, too good, to pass up.
Maybe he’d be back later, but she hadn’t been kidding when she said she wasn’t going to wait around for him. For one thing, her heart wouldn’t be able to withstand missing him so much. And for another, she’d just be waiting for him to leave again.
Been there, done that. She was so completely over waiting for the important men in her life to decide whether they wanted to stay or go.
So, this snow thing was good. It would distract her from everything else she couldn’t figure out.
First step: snowman.
After agreeing on an ideal spot, they began packing the snow to build the body. They worked well together, which shouldn’t have been a surprise, considering how well they danced together. He took her suggestions and gave feedback, maintaining light conversation and good humor. They’d both grown up in places that got a lot of snow, so it brought up a lot of nostalgia.
“Mitya and our older cousins always beat me in snowball fights,” Nik said, placing the snowman’s head on top of the body.
“Really?” That gave her an idea.
“Yeah, they were a lot older than I was, and I was little. Probably we played in the snow back in Ukraine, but I don’t remember it, and we don’t have many pictures from that time.”
There was something in his voice that made her pause. “Do you miss it?” she asked.
He shrugged. “Nothing to miss. I was only a baby when we moved, and no else really talks about it. When they do, it’s not fondly, not like ‘the good old days.’ They left everything behind for a reason, and no one seems inclined to reminisce over it.”
“I can see that,” she said, thinking about what it must have been like for him, growing up in a new place that was all he’d ever known, but that was so different for everyone else in his family. Maybe he didn’t miss being there, but she would wager there was still a sense of missing something, even if it was just missing memories. “My mom and sister laugh about the times my dad was gone, and the fights that led to his leaving. I guess it’s their way of making peace with the past, but I just want to forget about it.”
“Everyone processes differently,” he said in a quiet voice.
She nodded. The vibe had turned somber, so she changed the subject to lighten the mood.
