I can't remember a time when I was happier than I am right now. And I don't just mean because I've got the world's most amazing guy blowing me.
Being with Buzz is an honor. It doesn't just fulfill me on every emotional level, it inspires me. I want to be a better man. I want to be a good father. I want to be the best partner I can be. Because he deserves all that and more.
I know he's insecure about being too needy. And maybe he is. But I don't care. His neediness is matched by my need to be with him.
I'm so glad we finally talked. My only regret is not telling him how I felt years ago. Then again, regrets aren't useful because everything happens for a reason.
I tap Buzz's shoulder, a signal I'm ready to move on to fucking. He looks up at me adorably and asks, "Where?"
"Living room," I say, holding out my hand and helping him to his feet. "I've left supplies on the couch," I say as I lead the way.
"How thoughtful. Oh, wow. You even laid towels down and everything."
"Like you said, I'm thoughtful. But also, it's a new couch, and I don't think either of us wants to ruin it with cum."
He chuckles as he walks up behind me and bites my neck. "You saying I come too much?"
I spin around and start kissing his neck. "That's exactly what I'm saying."
But of course, with Buzz being Buzz, knowing what he knows about me, I've never had more than a few small splashes land on my stomach, nothing further up, and definitely nothingremotely close to my face. He's a considerate comer, which is a highly underrated attribute if you ask me.
We fuck on the couch.
We fuck standing up.
On the floor.
Bent over against the coffee table.
Squatting beside the coffee table.
With Buzz's legs on the coffee table.
All the various angles and positions don't diminish the feeling growing louder and louder in my chest. It may be tacky to say this when having sex, but the words bubble up my throat and out past my lips before I can do anything to stop them.
"I love you, Buzz."
He's lying on the floor, hips thrust in the air, his calves against my torso.
He smiles, causing the skin around his eyes to crinkle. "I love you, too, Court."
59
10 days later…
Buzz
It's so wrong of me to have thoughts like this, but up until today, my only experience of women giving birth was what I saw on TV and in movies.
I expected frantic breathing.
I expected screaming.
I expected emotions would be running high.
But the scene inside the St. Croix Regional Health Center isn't chaotic at all. Probably because Elaine elected to have an epidural. She's awake, she's comfortable, and from the moment the epidural kicked in, she hasn't felt an ounce of pain.
I'm glad for her.
