I'm positive men don't experience the whole biological clock ticking thing the way some women do, but having kids has been on my minda lotfor a while now. Even though my ex wasn't the right one, and I didn't want to go down the single fatherhood route, that hasn't lessened my desire to become a parent one bit.
I just never got down to the nitty-gritty level of how that would come to be since I wanted that to be a joint decision with my partner and myself. But I guess I always imagined adopting a child and giving them a better life would be one of the best options available.
And that's exactly what Elaine is proposing.
Except I'll be blood related to the child.
And so will Court.
And we'll be doing it together.
A spark of hope flares in my chest.
Would he go for it?Couldwe actually make it work?
Before I get too carried away and start daydreaming of bedtime routines and sleep shifts, I turn to look at him.
My hope deflates like a balloon.
He doesn't want this.
I can see it written all over him, from his mussed-up hair to his pinched brow to the way he's constantly shifting in his seat. He'd rather eat live insects than take up his mom's offer.
And in the blink of an eye, the fantasy is over before it even gets a chance to properly take hold.
49
Courtland
"Please tell me you've told Buzz how you feel, that you two are fucking like rabbits every single night, and you're calling to tell us to keep dates free for a spring baby shower next year."
My mouth falls open. "You're… You got two out of three right."
Scooter moves closer to the screen, squinting at the image of my startled expression. "I was joking."
My cheeks fill with air, then I release a long, dramatic breath. "I'm not."
His eyes light up. "Holy shit!"
He's in his trailer on a break from filming. Cyrus will be joining the call, but he needed to take a shower after a mud-themed photoshoot first. Buzz won't be either since he's at work, so I'll be giving our friends an update about all the shit that's gone down lately, solo. I'm kind of hoping Cy takes his time so I can get some much-needed life advice from this man.
"Which one isn't true?" he asks.
"The first one. I was about to tell him, I swear. He even gave me the perfect opening. We were in the car before dinner at Mom's, and I started talking, but?—"
Scooter groans. "Why is there always abutwith you?"
"I honestly don't know. Mom was on the porch, Buzz was freaking out about seeing her, and it just wasn't the right time."
"Funny how thatalwaysseems to be the case, isn't it?"
"Don't I get points for trying?"
He lifts his index finger and brings it right up to the camera. "You got one measly point. You'd get a thousand if you actually told him."
A sigh escapes me. "I want to, and I will," I say, meaning it. I've veered between telling him and questioning whether there'sany point, but now I'm back to where I started—I want to tell him because he has a right to know, and I just want to get this off my chest so I can maybe get some closure and finally move on.
Except now Mom has thrown a massive curveball.
