Buzz
"Mmm." I close my eyes, practically melting. "How do you get them so fluffy?"
"I could tell you," Court quips, elbows resting on the bar. "But then I'd have to kill you."
"Come over here and sit next to me," I say, kicking out a stool even though I know he'll refuse like he has every morning since he moved in with me.
"Nah. I'm good here."
I never expected to be learning so many new things about my bestie. Granted, they're all just little things like him wearing reading glasses, or preferring to stand while he has his morning coffee and breakfast, or him having the world's nicest, most suckable cock, but they're still new. It makes things feel different.
Good different.
I guess getting married, living together, and blowing each other will do that. I'm just glad that all this newness isn't messing with our decades-long dynamic. I made a point of checking about that before when I brought up how change isn't always a bad thing.
Like always, Court knew what I needed to hear, and he reassured me in a way only he can. He's the only person apart from Howie—and that's only because he's exactly the same—who doesn't make me feel bad for being so damn needy.
"What are you doing today?" I ask.
He finishes chewing. "The usual. I'll be at the inn."
"How are things going there?"
"Really well. There's a lot of work to keep me busy, and hanging out with Lola is always a good time."
"Yeah. I bet." I clear my throat. "Are you itching to get back to your real job, though?"
"Honestly, no. I didn't realize how much I needed a break until I took one. I'm glad I've taken some time out after Africa. I need some space to figure out what I'm going to do next." His eyes meet mine, and there's a hint of uncertainty swirling there. "I don't think I want to work at Brigham and Women's Hospital," he admits quietly.
"How come?"
"I think I've always known this to some extent, but it feels like the life I'm living isn't my own. It's Dad's. He wanted me to follow in his footsteps and do medicine, and since I didn't have any alternatives I could counter with, I went along with it. I kind of fell into OBGYN by accident and maybe I mistook that for being independent and not being a total Dad clone by becoming a neurosurgeon like him. But it wasn't."
I take a sip of my coffee. That was a lot more than I was expecting him to say. I had no idea he was going through all of this, probably because, in typical Court fashion, he kept it close to his chest. But at least he's opening up to me now.
"What are you going to do?"
He shrugs. "I don't know. But the good thing is, I don't have to figure everything out just yet. I've got a bit over four more months left here, so for now, I just want to enjoy it."
I clear my throat again. "At the risk of bringing the mood down, I've been meaning to ask…have you seen your mom yet?"
Court's jaw clenches, and he shakes his head. "Not yet. Surely she must have finished that damn book by now, but she hasn't reached out."
I'll be honest, I'm not a huge fan of Elaine Matthews, or as she's known to readers all around the world, Viv Livingstone.
Not only am I supremely uncomfortable around her because she had an affair with my father, but even worse than that, she's always been a lousy mother.
Even when we were young, it was always Court and his dad. His mom was never around, and when she was, she just didn't seem interested. I get that being an author must be all-consuming, but I sometimes wonder whether she hides behind that to absolve herself from her responsibilities as, you know, a human being. A parent.
I take a breath. "Maybe instead of calling or texting, just go over there. See her for ten minutes, and then at least it's done. Otherwise, it's just hanging over your head."
Court gives me a knowing look. "It has been playing on my mind a bit. I thought surely we would have seen each other at least once by now."
"I could tell."
"That obvious, am I?"
"Only to me."
