It did. Grateful I could stay near him, I settled in the cool grass. I stretched out on my back next to him—making sure we didn’t touch—and stared into the sky. A deep sigh escaped me. “It’s absolutely breathtaking.”
“It is. Tons of shooting stars tonight.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Just keep watching and you’ll catch one.”
Although Kingsley was within reach, and although I yearned to snuggle up to him, I kept my hands to myself. “I used to go camping all the time with my parents. We’d sit around a bonfireand come up with scary stories. Make s’mores. Count shooting stars.”
“Sounds perfect.”
“It was. I miss them.” Guilt niggled at me for not having called them in a while. The reception was spotty up here, but maybe I could try tomorrow. “What were your vacations like?”
Kingsley sniffed. “Luxurious. We usually flew some place with our private jet. Skiing in the Swiss Alps, beach vacation on the Bahamas, shopping trip in Singapore. Everyone hated it.”
“How can you hate a vacation like that?”
“Because it’s the—”
“Shooting star!” I slapped a hand over my mouth because I’d yelled way too loudly. “Shooting star,” I whispered.
There was this low, rumbling chuckle again that slipped right under my skin. “Yup, saw it, too.”
“Sorry, what were you going to say?”
“It’s the company that makes a moment special, not the place or amenities.”
“Fair point.” I worried my lip. “Where would you go now if you could choose?”
“Nowhere. I love this place and its people.”
“Be honest with me.”
Kingsley shifted. “You really want to torture yourself with the truth?”
Apparently so. Maybe I was a sucker for pain, but I wanted to know his thoughts. “Yes.”
“Everything?”
“Everything.”
He cleared his throat. “All right. Place doesn’t matter as long as I get to be with you. No restrictions. No rules.”
A shiver rippled down my back. “I’d like that. A lot.” Especially the no-restrictions part.
“We’d do the same thing as now—stargazing. But I’d hold you in my arms so I could feel the warmth radiating off your body and smell your flowery shampoo. Feel the shape of your curves. And then we’d talk about everything and nothing. About how God has blessed us in our lives. What drives us. Our fears. Our dreams. And we’d lose all sense of time.”
My breath stalled as a wave of emotion crashed over me. “Why are we doing this to ourselves?” I whispered, not able to hold back the tears. “It breaks me, Kingsley.”
“I know.” His voice sounded hoarse. “Me, too.”
I suppressed a sob.Why, God? Why does this have to be so unfair?
“Hey, it’s okay.” Kingsley’s warm fingers brushed mine as he interlaced them.
I rolled over and clung to his arm. “What exactly is God doing with us? Why does He give us this longing for each other even though it’s so wrong?”
“I don’t know, Sweetheart. I don’t know.”
