Reckless. Ten bodies, three dynasties cut open because I lost control. The city would think I gave into my bloodline, call it proof of a monster finally admitting himself. I didn’t care what they named me.
I cared what she did.
Her step in the hall was the first thing that gave me air.
“Luca.”
I didn’t look. I chopped the parsley, like if I piled enoughcolor in one place the rest of the night would learn how to breathe again.
“Dinner’s almost ready,” I said.
“You’ve been quiet today.”
“Not much to say.”
She came closer.
Her hand touched my arm.
“Are you mad with me?” she asked, soft. “I’m sorry, Luca. I’m really sorry for what I said in the bathroom.”
I didn’t expect that. Not that tone. That small tremor in her voice which meant she had sat with that question all day. I set the knife down, flat and turned to look at her.
Her eyes were glassy, as if she was a minute away from crying because of me. It put something hot into my throat that didn’t know how to settle.
“Awe, baby,” I heard myself say, rawer than I liked. I slid my hands to her waist, lifted her clean, sat her on the island like I’d done a hundred times. She didn’t weigh anything in my hands. She never had.
She gripped the marble like she was stopping herself from floating. “Maybe we should—maybe a different position,” she rushed. “Last time… like this… I said goodbye. You snapped.”
Fuck. She associated sitting between my legs to that night.
I cupped her jaw and tilted her face up, bringing her mine. “I’m not mad with you.”
“But I made you snap. I pushed you. I?—”
“I’m not mad with you,” I repeated, slower, both hands on her face. The words needed to anchor. I needed to hear them as much as she did.
“Don’t lie to me,” she whispered. Her bottom lip trembled. “You won’t even look at me.”
I inhaled once.
“I wouldn’t look, because I was afraid.” It came out rough. “Afraid I’d see it—the look everyone else gives me after a night like that. I had proved their worst stories true. Like I’m only what the blood says I am.” I ran my thumb along her cheekbone. “I can survive the city thinking I’m a monster. If I saw it in you…if you flinched from me—” My voice tightened. “That would end me, baby.”
She reached for me. Her hands moving down my arms. Her touch might as well be oxygen for me.
“I don’t see you like they do,” she said. “I never have.”
“Even after this week.”
“Especially after this week,” her mouth trembled again, but it wasn’t fear now. “You got me to came home.”
The words did something violent and careful to my chest at the same time. I leaned in, set my forehead to hers. My ribs aching but I didn’t care.
“Tell me again,” I asked quietly. “Tell me how you see me.”
She took a breath. I felt it against my mouth. “I see the man who cut my name out of a contract I didn’t want to sign. The man who learns my silence and doesn’t punish me for it. I see the boy who wouldn’t sleep in the dark until I lay down between you.” She swallowed. “I see my Luca.”
My Luca.
