I want to snatch her away, shove her into a toilet cubicle, and punish her for making me feel this way. But I can’t move. Entranced by the cataclysmic asteroid wedged in the middle of my vision, a beautiful fantasy that’s about to blow up my entire world. And truth be told, I’d stand back and let her do it, because I’ve never experienced this gravitational wrench before.
“Who the fuck is that?” Reno appears by my side, his voice thick with desire. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say that’s…”
I’m too infuriated to listen. The fact he fancies this particular woman almost cracks my sanity. Deep within my psyche, I recognize the goddess, whose very presence shakes the earth beneath my boots.
I shoot toward the rope, blinking away awestruck stars, and push past my security detail. But when she turns her perfect round little ass to me and strides into the midst of the heaving crowd, my fists curl and I lose my ever-loving mind.
33
SINÉAD
I’m fed up—and frustrated.
Having my period and recovering from all the drama at the hotel had drained me for the first couple of days. Staying indoors with André was fun. It gave us time to settle into the weird groove we had to carve out once we’d quietly accepted our marriage was real.
But then he left our bubble and ventured out into the world, leaving me to enjoy a lunch date with India yesterday and watch a chick flick this evening.
It's not that I don't enjoy spending time with her. I do. On the surface I’m content, but underneath, I’m plagued by a kinetic energy. A tireless dissatisfaction that zips through my body and begs me to seek a life outside of the luxurious prison cell I’m trapped in.
I no longer work at Luna, and I don’t have any friends here, except for a mature seventeen-year-old who’s hiding a distant universe in her lost eyes.
Guards secure the main entrance of our condominium, and one lurks outside the penthouse door as an extra precaution. When we actually left the building together yesterday to take a stroll in the blissful sunshine, India’s bodyguard walked five steps behind us. That was the one we could see; apparently, there were a handful of others blending into the background.
I’m not a stay-at-home housewife.
That’s not who I am—or who I aspire to be.
André had told me I could be anyone I wanted to be now that I’m a Souza. So, when I study my reflection in the walk-in closet, I see my mother’s dark hair, the dying bruises of a lifelong survivor, and Irish green eyes tinged with Italian blue.
My overall appearance resembles Sinéad Quinn, the lonely soul who’d pulled pints for a living and ignored humdrum paperwork. But on the inside, that's where the invisible divergence has taken place.
All of my organs were electrocuted by his power. My veins burned from his ferocious heat. Every muscle surrendered to his dominant proximity. And my disbelieving heart expanded to make room for his presence in my life.
Beneath the feverish flesh and twitching muscles of what makes me who I am, I’ve somehow become a slave to my husband's desires. This wasn’t supposed to happen, not when our togetherness was forced upon me. Yet, he’s managed to kick-start my underwhelmed heart and shine his light into every dull aspect of my unsatisfied existence. I ache for his danger and yearn for his savage touch.
Who the hell does that make me now?
A fool?
A wife with no freedom?
A bargaining chip between mafia families?
Or a woman who once thrived on adventure until there was only routine to fill her days. Someone who demands more from her life now.
The tinkle of a dog tag alerts me to the cute Doberman puppy. Its shiny black coat glistening under cabinet lighting and its rusty-colored face scented from a lavish beef dinner. Although Daenis belongs to André, the spirited whirlwind spends the majority of its time with India.
For the duration of the movie, I’d cuddled the sleepy dog and stroked its soft little head. She offered me comfort in his absence. Afterward, when India took the pup outside to pee, her quick-to-respond bodyguard was in hot pursuit.
“Hey, little one!” I sink to the carpet and capture Daenis in my arms. She licks my chin and pants while pushing against my shoulders with spritely paws. “We should go for a long walk together. Get some fresh air. Smell the ocean.”
India joins us, sitting cross-legged beside me on the floor. “They’re going to Vice tonight.” Her hair is twisted on top of her head in a messy knot and her clear skin is free of makeup. “Why don’t you go too?”
As she speaks, my torso angles to face the mirror again and a glint of bone-shaped metal catches my eye. The dog tag gleams, the etched name reflecting back at me, creating a whole new word. My breath catches in my throat, and I mouth the flipped letters that spell outS I N E A D. He had subconsciously named his dog after me?
I try to hold my cool and stare at the back-to-front name; however, my wide eyes surely reveal my shock. “Who named Daenis?”
“André, why? Are you okay?”
