Johnny grabs a dripping basting brush and shakes it at me. “Stay back, heathen.” Splatters of brown liquid dart back and forth. His eyes narrow. “You’re bullshitting, right?”
I laugh at his sudden seriousness. “You know I’m a meat eater. We shared a BLT last week, Jeff.”
His brows fly up. “Who the fuck is Jeff.”
My stomach twists. “What?”
“You called me Jeff.”
What the hell? I fucking did too. It slipped out. That name is never far from my thoughts. “Clean your ears out, buddy. I called you chef.” I try again, coaxing him to believe my blatant lie. “Are we waiting for that T-Bone to dry up like an old boot?”
Johnny flips me the bird, swigs a mouthful of beer and stabs the lump of beef with a prong. “Done to perfection, if I do say so myself.”
“Need a hand?” I offer, scanning the table littered with napkins, cutlery, salad and side dishes enough to feed the street.
“Grab yourself a plate while I cut up this bad boy.” He plops the steak onto an aluminum tray.
The twins race out of the house, battling each other with sausage shaped balloons.
“Take that!” one screams.
“No, you take this,” the other yells.
“Boys, c’mon. Play on the grass. You know you’re not allowed near the BBQ when it’s lit.”
Silver-blue eyes peer up at me. They’re a wash of intrigue and suspicion. “That's my soda.”
“Um—eh,” I reply, unsure what to say without making him cry. I’ve already guzzled half of it. “How about I get you another one?”
“Milo.” Johnny clicks his fingers. “The juice boxes are for you and Max. You know that, buddy. The soda is for grown-ups.”
Viv’s laugh carries into the yard. I turn to the glass doors and watch Tara refill their wine glasses to the brim as Viv breaks a cupcake into two parts. She flicks her hair, grinning in response to the conversation. I take a minute to watch her, grateful the two women have hit it off. This is how I imagine life could be. How it should have been until this point. If I pinched myself and jolted out of this dream, it would kill me to find Viv never existed. Or worse, I’d broken her trust and she hated me.
I’m too distracted to notice the mound of meat stuffed into a seeded bun, waiting patiently for me.
“You’re really smitten with her. Is she your first?”
“My first?” I say, still staring at her. “We aren’t in high school. I’ve been with a woman before.”
“I mean, is she your first love? You can’t keep your eyes off her.”
Her lashes flick up as if sensing my stare. She acknowledges my intense observation with a shy smile. I falter a moment. It’s weird how my heart skips. I casually wink back at her and grin when she blows me a kiss. “Seriously?” I blow out. “Love?”
“L.O.V.E.” Johnny spells the word like a sassy teen. “Don’t deny it. You might be all butch and macho, buddy, but you’re fucking her with love heart eyes right now.”
She’s in my head. Always. And that reality scares the shit out of me.
“We’re taking it day by day.” I turn away as she tips the wineglass to her lips.
“One thing is for sure, now that you’ve announced a girlfriend, there will be a gaggle of extremely upset women at Sunnyville General. In case you hadn’t noticed, all the nurses rally around when the new guy brings in a patient. They fucking worship you.”
“No, they don’t.” The odd one or two has a flirty chat with me now and again. None of them interest me like Viv does.
“Seriously, buddy. You’re the talk of the whole hospital.”
I shrug. “Well, like you said, I’ve got a girlfriend.”
Johnny grunts. “Lucky fucker. You have women lining up to ride on the back of your motorcycle,andyou’ve bagged a hot chick who’s younger than you.”
