“A shopping list?”
“A type of list... sort of… a totally unimportant quiz thing,” she mutters.
My eyebrows drift higher. “About?”
“Um… you.”
“Can I see it?”
“Okay, but it’s not what you think.” Now I’m intrigued. “They’re basic questions. Standard ‘getting to know you’ queries.”
Unfolding the scrunched-up paper, I squint to understand the fancy scrawl. “What’s that you marked out for number one—preferred—sexual—position?” I say it painfully slowly and watch her squirm. “What's my favorite color?” I scan the rest of the questions, swallowing back dread when I reach number ten. Secrets. Fucking secrets.
“I’m sorry. I’ve never been in a relationship for longer than a… well, ever. This is my way of getting to know you better.” Her lashes lower to the evidence in my hand.
I nod, acknowledging the challenge ahead of me. “One question a day.” That gives me ten days to build up the courage to drop the bombshell and a few days grace for her to grieve. The longer I leave it, the harder it will be to watch her smile fade. “What happens if you don't like the answers?”
She crawls over me, bearing her hips down and wiggling her ass on my lap. “There isn’t anything you could say to me, Danny, that would change the way I feel about you.”
“Don’t be so sure about that.” Such a bold statement. “It’s early days, we still have a lot to learn about each other.”
Her mouth contorts. “You basically know everything there is to know about me. Whereas I don’t know that much about you.”
“It’s not that easy, Viv.” My stomach knots at the uncertainty in her eyes. “I did something a long time ago.” I can't take that trip down memory lane tonight. Hopefully in ten days we’ll both be ready. I’ll offload everything. Every last detail. She’ll know exactly who I really am. With today's emotions still thick in the air, I won’t snuff out the flame of adoration burning in her eyes. The woman needs my support, not my history. “One day at a time.” I kiss the crown of her head.
“Okay. Have I told you that I like you, Danny?”
“I like you more.” I’m not ready to say goodnight yet. “Can I stay with you tonight and answer number one, part A?”
Folding on top of me, she rests her cheek to my heart. “Part A?” she mutters, ready for sleep.
“Part A,” I repeat, ripping open a condom wrapper with my teeth.
I manhandle her onto the mattress and roll the rubber down my length. Turning into her, I scoop her leg over my thigh and angle my hips so it’s easy to enter. We’re entwined, moving together. Skin to skin. Mouth to mouth. Our lips adore and explore. My thrusts set a leisurely pace. Soft moans make it difficult for me to keep steady, to show restraint, to look her in the eyes and project how I truly feel.
For the few days I was at home, I wished Viv was beside me to harmonize the discord in my life. It scared me how she dominated my heart with a wish for a future together. I’ve hidden beneath my sins for too long, and this innocent woman will wilt at the first sight of the monster lurking in my past. I should’ve called her, at least once, but that would mean my suggestion of casual was a lie.
Nails skate across my shoulders. My hand drifts to her jaw, and I cup her chin, locking our gaze while the intensity builds. Casual with Viv was always going to be a farce.
“This is my favorite position. On top of Vivian Swann while she comes for me.” I nip her earlobe, and she crumbles.
Her body shudders while her walls spasm. Everything goes black. My heartbeat skyrockets. My head thumps, and I join her with a guttural groan of my own. Breathing into her hair, I wait until she surrenders and her limbs weaken.
I slouch back on my elbows and peel off the condom, wrapping it in a tissue. “And part B,” I continue.
She laughs under her breath. “Two in one day? I’m honored.”
“Technically, they’re one question broken into two parts.”
“True.” Her brows pop up, and she stifles a grin. “What’s your favorite color, Mr. Rocco?”
Inhaling, I smile right at her. “The exact shade your skin becomes when an orgasm hits. It’s a naughty tinge of just fucked pink.”
Viv leans into me, her hazel eyes dancing in the lamplight. “Good answer.” I lift my arm, and she snuggles underneath.
I’m settled, content and right where I want to be. Melting into the mattress, hypnotized by her sleepy breaths, my comfort slowly morphs into a nightmare.
“We’ll make this work, Viv.”I kiss the crown of her head. My heart is bursting with love, and for the first time, I’m ready to welcome happiness into my life. Finding her has been the savior for my tortured soul. A priceless diamond in the grit of my mistakes. The sweetest soul to sugarcoat my suffering.
