He fingered my velvety softness and I squirmed under him, my head thrown back against the pillow and a breathy moan leaving my lips. “Mattie, I might be a virgin, but only when it comes to men. I’ve used toys.”
He lifted one perfectly shaped blond eyebrow. “See, you’re already so much better at this foreplay thing than you think.”
He slid a third finger inside me, and my hips bucked on their own accord. “Mattie is top-of-the-line.”
He flicked my swollen bud with his thumb, dragging another moan from my chest, my hips begging him for more. “Mattie? You named it after me?”
“Mmmm,” I confirmed, my arms around his neck, holding him to my lips. “He does everything but tell me he loves me with the hint of a Danish accent.”
A word dropped from his lips that told me he was done with foreplay. “I promise you, sweetheart, that he’s not going to hold up to what the real Mattie can do for you.”
He used his knees to spread my legs apart and settle between them; then he grasped my chin, his lips inches from mine when he spoke. “Maybe the missionary position gets a bad rap, but it’s the only one where I can watch your face for ecstasy and pain. It’s where I can see you become mine for the first time.” He hovered at my opening, and a quiver racked his body. “I love you, baby.”
I thrust my hips forward, taking the first few inches of him inside me. “I love you too,” I cried, halting at the foreign sensation for a moment until I could catch my breath. “More,” I hissed as I pushed forward slowly, causing his hips to buck against his will. His long, low moan filled the room with unbridled pleasure.
“In my wildest dreams, sweetheart,” he groaned, burying himself deep inside me as he gazed into my eyes.
The look on his face flooded my heart with emotion. There was so much love, disbelief, ecstasy, and pure, unadulterated soul-settling inside those baby blues I could have cried. He was home. We both felt it.
His lips moved to my ear where he suckled the lobe until I was writhing under him. “You’re so much better than my wildest dreams,” he promised. “Hotter, tighter, and sweeter, but the love and forgiveness you’ve wrapped around me are what I needed more than anything.”
I shifted under him until words ceased to exist. Neither of us could control the passion and need we’d held for each other all our lives. We’d been friends forever, and now we were finally lovers. Lovers who could sense each other’s desires and fears without words. He grasped my hips, holding me to him as he twitched inside me with his head thrown back as though he was worshipping an unseen entity. When his eyes opened, they were clouded with lust, but he held mine for a beat before he rocketed me right to the stars, his name falling from my lips.
CHAPTER 19
The room was dark and peaceful. The clock read four a.m., and all was right in my world. I was exactly where I wanted to be—in Mattie’s arms because he was mine and I was his. He’d fallen asleep after our last round of lovemaking with his cheek on my belly and his arm thrown over my hips. I ran my fingers through his hair, needing to touch him to remind myself that this wasn’t a dream. I wasn’t going to wake up tomorrow morning only to discover I hadn’t given my virginity to the one man I had always dreamed would take it. I wasn’t going to wake up in the morning and be faced with another day of wondering how he felt about me.
This morning, I didn’t question the way he felt about me. My heart pounded again in my chest, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think I was sick. I knew better. My heart was pounding for this man who had consumed me and given me more in a few short hours than I could have dreamed possible. He gave me love, peace, and multiple orgasms, but above all, the knowledge that I was right.
To love him.
To wait for him.
To believe he was the other half of my soul.
Maybe I didn’t know all the moves the way some women would, but what I did know was him. I could read his cues without even trying, and that made my inexperience unimportant to our experience together.
Mattie was a talented lover, and while I wished we had been sharing a bed over the last ten years, I couldn’t fault him for finding release where he could. Theo told him to be honorable and walk away from me, and he did. In the process, he’d learned. Mattie learned what a woman liked and what she didn’t like. He learned about himself, too, and not just sexually. He learned you couldn’t please other people at the expense of your heart. What he had to learn last night was how to couple our past experiences with our new relationship. Mattie had to see me as his soul mate and plunge everything else we’ve been through together into the darkness. If we were going to be together in this way, we had to let all the rest go.
“You’re deep in thought.”
His words jarred me back to the present, and I smiled down at him. I was as naked as he was, and my nipples pointed to the ceiling from the chilliness of the room. “Sorry, I was daydreaming.”
He rested his chin over my belly button. “Are you sure? That didn’t look like a daydreaming face. That looked like the look a woman wears when she’s pondering life.”
I smiled softly and brushed the hair off his forehead. “I was pondering life a little bit, you’re right, but not in a bad way.”
His hand stroked its way up my ribs to cover my breast, letting the warmth of his palm relax me. “I’m glad. I feel so good right now and that’s the way I want you to feel too.”
I ran my finger down his cheek and it still held a slight bit of disbelief. “I was just thinking about how, when I wake up in the morning, this won’t be a dream. I was able to give the man I’ve loved forever the one thing I always wanted him to have.”
“I didn’t take it lightly either, honeybee. I took it with the utmost love, reverence, and care.”
I nodded, my gaze holding his as his eyes turned a soft, smoky blue. “I love you.”
“You have no idea,” he whispered, his eyes never leaving mine.
“No idea of what?” I held my hand over his, which still lay on my breast.
