“Most likely, but the doctors did tell Birgitte the tumors and abnormalities do occur in the general population occasionally, so who knows. Anyway, the pill keeps anything from developing again. I’m supposed to have ultrasounds every six months to keep an eye on it, but—”
“But you haven’t been because I’ve been a moron and didn’t insist on improving your health insurance or bother to make sure you were able to get to your appointments.”
“No, Mattie, it’s not your fault. You didn’t know.”
“Maybe I didn’t, but I should have made sure you had better health insurance that would have paid for them. How long has it been?” His teeth were clenched when he asked the question. “How long since the last scan?”
“Before we moved here to Plentiful. I used to go to a clinic in Duluth that was prorated by income, but it was too far away when I didn’t have a car.”
“Oh my God,” he moaned, his head hanging. “We’ve been in Plentiful for five years, Honey!” He slashed his hand through the air as though he was done being indecisive. “We’ll have that done at the hospital on Tuesday too. I’ll arrange it.”
“Mathi—”
“No, don’t argue with me, please. You’ve suffered enough. I want to have a life with you, which means I have to make sure you’re healthy.”
“I’m the result of my mother’s mistakes, not yours.” I sat up and hugged my knees, resting my chin on them. “I’m sorry for not telling you sooner, but I didn’t want you to know when I was younger.”
“I understand,” he promised, sitting in front of me and kissing my lips. “I can’t imagine all the things you’ve dealt with because of your mother’s addiction. If telling me it was your appendix made it a little bit easier for you, I can’t be mad about that. Did Far pay for it?”
I nodded and shrugged. “You know your parents. They didn’t want to fight with mine about it, and the surgery had to happen immediately. The doctors said if they didn’t do surgery quickly, I might never have children. They also warned Far if it turned to sepsis, I’d die.”
His forehead rested on mine tenderly. “I remember how much pain you were in then. Mor told me it was because they waited too long to take you in, so the doctors had to do the surgery open. I stopped one night after class to see you once they brought you home, and the only time you stopped moaning was when I held your hand.”
“If I never thanked you for that, thank you,” I whispered. “I was in a lot of pain and just wanted to die. I was mad, scared, sad, and so many other things I can’t even list them all, but you were the only one who could keep me calm enough to relax.”
“I guess that should have been my first clue, eh?” he asked, winking. “It tore me up to see you in so much pain, and I had no idea what the truth even was.”
“Birgitte begged me to let her tell you, but I refused. I knew you would skip classes to stay with me, and I didn’t want you to fall behind in school.”
He swung around and pulled me into him, lying behind me and spooning me against his belly. “One of the many reasons I love you.” He kissed my neck, letting his lips linger enough to raise goose bumps on my skin. “Even when you’re the one who needs grace, you continue to offer it to everyone else first.”
“That’s what you do when you love someone, Mattie,” I said on a yawn.
His lips lingered on my neck for another moment while his body shuddered from a breath. “Every time you say you love me, you offer me another little piece of grace, Honey,” he whispered. “I don’t deserve it, but I’ll accept it and let it heal me, so I can do the same for you. First, we need to sleep. You’re exhausted.”
“I am tired,” I agreed, yawning as I snuggled into his chest. “Say it again,” I whispered, my eyes half-closed.
“I love you, honeybee.” He said the words on a sigh before he sucked tenderly at my neck until I was sure there was a mark.
“I love you, too, Mattie,” I whispered, my eyes closing with relief, disbelief, and above all, love.
CHAPTER 17
“Would you help me in the kitchen,pigebarn?” Birgitte called to me where I sat on the deck with Theo and Mathias.
I jumped up and patted Theo on the shoulder on my way by, remembering to keep my hands to myself with Mathias. We’d agreed not to tell them about the change in our relationship until after Birgitte’s surgery. They had enough going on, and since we weren’t exactly sure how they’d take the news, we decided not upsetting her before major surgery was the way to go.
“Let me clean up,” I said, taking the dish towel from her. “You go sit with Theo and Mattie.” I motioned for her to go out the door. “I didn’t know you were in here cleaning.”
She leaned on the counter and watched me dry the dishes from the dishwasher. “I’m not dying, beautiful girl.”
“I know.” I set the dish down immediately, not wanting to upset her, “but you cooked. You shouldn’t have to do the dishes too.”
“I put them in the dishwasher. It was super taxing.” She rolled her eyes to the ceiling.
I snorted, holding in my giggle as I set the last pot on the counter and closed the dishwasher. “I’ll put the dishes away, and then Mattie and I will take off. I’m sure you have some things to finish before Tuesday.”
I hung the last pot on the rack and settled the towel over the sink’s edge, but she grasped my arm before I could leave the kitchen. “Something has changed between you and my son.”
