“You’re a good man, Mattie,” I promised as I rubbed his cheek in the glow of the firelight. I wanted to say so much more, but this wasn’t about me. It was about him. “Theo agrees you’ve changed too?”
He settled in against the blankets more and helped me rest on his chest again. “He told me a month or so ago that he was proud of the man I’d become. He also said any father would be proud to have me as a son-in-law. I’m happy that we healed the rift, but I’m not convinced I’m the best man I can be yet.”
“We can always grow and be better humans, but there comes a point in our lives where we have to stop beating ourselves up for past mistakes. Honestly, most guys wouldn’t spend their days buying up businesses to better the community, or dump millions into research projects when you don’t know if they’ll ever yield a payday.”
“Yeah, but that’s business, honeybee. I don’t want to be a good businessman. I want to be a good man. There’s a difference.”
I chuckled. “Okay, you’re right, so let’s run that down. You bought your best friend a house, doubled her pay, and made sure she had insurance, just to name a few.”
“That was to appease my guilt. We both know it too.”
“We can agree to disagree then.”
“At the time, I didn’t even know you had a degree, and I was afraid you were going to leave me. I needed more time to sort out my feelings, and I didn’t want you to walk away while I was doing that. I wanted you to stay, and buying the businesses was the only way I knew how to tell you. That makes me sound pathetic, but that’s the truth.”
I blew air through my lips with resignation. “Who are we kidding? I was never going to leave you. I got the degree knowing it, but I still believe that getting a formal education made me a better businesswoman.”
“Are you kidding? You’re phenomenal at what you do. Before the degree, you had no confidence in what you did, so you’d hide behind me. You only did what I told you to do and never stepped outside the confines I gave you until you started working on that degree. Now I see that’s when you suddenly got a whole heap of self-confidence and started doing your own thing.”
“You’re so wrong.” I laughed, shaking my head with my gaze pinned on the fire. “I pushed back at what you wanted me to do with your business, did what I thought should be done instead, or did it completely different than you wanted in hopes you’d get fed up and fire me. My heart couldn’t take it any longer. This isn’t a new story. Girl falls for her best friend; best friend doesn’t feel the same way; friends walk away from each other. It’s a classic tale as old as time.”
“You’re wrong, though. The best friend does feel the same, but he doesn’t think he’s good enough for her. That’s where we were when Charity gave me that letter last year. She knew it too.”
My breath caught, and I gazed up at him. “What?”
“Honeybee, in my eyes, you’re the one who walks on water,” he whispered, his lips coming down to rest on mine. He kissed me then, his inhibitions gone, his secrets told, and his whole heart behind the movement of his lips. My hand strayed to his cheek in disbelief, and when he moaned low in his throat, it echoed through the cave and straight to my heart. I ripped my lips from his and rested my forehead on his chest, tears in my eyes. I was more confused now than just a few minutes ago, but I could tell he was done talking.
“Don’t pull away from me, sweetheart,” he begged, tipping my chin up to capture my lips again. “Ever.”
CHAPTER 15
I stepped into the dress, remembering to be careful pulling it up so I didn’t pop any of the rhinestones or beads off. When we found this dress in the secondhand shop on Main Street, I fell in love with it before I even tried it on. It was blue, and what I would have pictured myself wearing to the prom if I’d gone to the prom. It was strapless with a beaded bodice and a lace skirt that came to my knees. Paired with a strappy pair of sandals and fresh apple blossoms in my hair, I was ready to be my other best friend’s maid of honor.
It was weird to say I was going to be in my friend’s wedding, considering the way I grew up. I hadn’t dreamed about the things normal little girls dreamed of like going to prom, kissing boys, and getting married. My dreams were more like nightmares. It was Mathias who saved me from that life, and while it used to be gratefulness that drove me to do anything and everything for him, that had changed. Now I did things for him out of pure love and the longing for mutual respect.
Mathias had taken off at noon to meet Gulliver at Butterfly Junction, and they would meet us at the venue in time for photos before the ceremony. I had to be ready when Charity finished in the shower, so I could help her with her dress. I reached behind me to get the zipper, but my hands met someone else’s. I jumped, turning my head to see Mathias standing behind me.
“You’re . . . wow.” He took a deep breath, and his nose flared as he carefully lifted the zipper upward. The dress fit like a glove, and he turned me by my shoulders, taking in the whole look. “I was wrong, ‘wow’ doesn’t cut it. I don’t have words.”
My cheeks turned warm and likely pink, tinged with embarrassment and pleasure. I wanted nothing more than to please him, even if I didn’t want to admit that to myself.
“Thank you, but it’s just an old dress.”
He shook his head, but I swear his gaze never strayed from my chest. “No, it’s so much more. Maybe on someone else, it would be an old dress, but on you, va-voom.” He closed his eyes and moaned slightly, leaving both of us hot and bothered.
I cleared my throat to make sure I didn’t croak when I spoke. “I’m glad you like it. Hey, what are you doing here? Where’s Gulliver?” I slapped his shoulder playfully. “You’re supposed to be watching him!”
“He’s not three, so I left him to get ready and came back for my tie. I was irritated that I forgot it, but now I’m glad I did. I could just stand here and stare at you all day.”
I rested my hand on his chest and let a smile tip my lips. “You’re sweet, Mattie. When we found the dress, I told Charity it felt like I was going to prom. I never went to prom, but when I pictured myself there, I wore a dress like this.”
His arms encircled me and held me carefully so he didn’t wrinkle my dress. “I wish I had been there to take you to prom. I was a real asshole back then. I’m sorry,” he whispered with his lips to my ear. “Save me a dance tonight, and I’ll make up for it.”
I nodded, but the truth was, I would avoid him as much as possible tonight. Since his admittance in the cave last night, being with him was awkward and stilted. He’d said he felt the same way I did, but never came right out and declared his love for me. It was highly probable he never would. If what he said was true and Theo was the reason he’d shied away from me, then I didn’t know how to overcome that. It had been too many years, too many hurt feelings, and too many extenuating circumstances.
“Charity is showering and will be out soon,” I said, stepping out of his embrace. “You better get out of here before she sees you.”
He cupped my cheek one last time and nodded. “I know, but I don’t want to leave. You’ve taken my breath away.”
