“I never meant to add to your anxiety, love. I shouldn’t have pressed you to give more details…not in front of my family.”
“You did nothing wrong, Gerald. Your request was reasonable.” She needed to tell him. They had promised no moresecrets. “It’s just that, the return of my memory has also taken me by surprise as well. I have remembered things you see, things I wish I could forget, but I cannot.”
“Sometimes sharing those difficult and painful memories can help,” Gerald suggested in a soft voice.
She glanced at him, and he was looking at her with such concern that all she wanted to do was feel his arms around her tight and breathe in his strength.
“Remember when I was feverish and kissed you.”
“Yes, I recall you were quite brazen,” he said his voice deep and teasing.
“And then the day of our wonderful picnic when you kissed me.”
“Alas, I could not help myself. You were just so irresistible.” He leaned down to whisper in her ear. “I’d be happy to oblige again.”
She felt the heat of a blush as she glanced at him; his smile was teasing but his eyes held an intensity that made her chest constrict. “Oh, well, my…” she stumbled, not knowing what to say.
He chuckled and wrapped his arm around her drawing her close. He dropped a kiss on top of her head. “It’s alright my sweet, I would never do anything that would make you comfortable. I promise,” he added softly.
She nodded and blinked back sudden tears. “You have been so kind and patient. But I need to tell you something…”
He stopped walking and turned her to face him. His eyes were now serious, looking at her with concern. “You want to tell me about that man, the imposter who pretended to be Percival Bowles.”
“Yes. But you see, I have to tell you that when we kissed, it wasn’t my first kiss. I thought it was, but then when my memory returned, I realized that it wasn’t, because…because…that m-man…that h-horrible man assaulted m-me. H-he pushed me up against the w-wall and held my hands above my head and his lips…it wasn’t a kiss…but it was like he attacked me with his mouth and he g-groped me…” A sob escaped her, and she covered her mouth and turned her head away from Gerald.
She felt Gerald’s strong arms go around her and she turned into his chest and cried, “N-no matter how much I f-fought I w-wasn’t strong enough to stop him from t-touching me with those v-vile hands and his t-teeth. I remember breath, stale and vile-like, the stench nearly choking me. And his h-hands were like claws…But I h-have to tell you. He didn’t…He didn’t do…”
“Hush, my love,” Gerald whispered, kissing her forehead. “I know. I know.”
Tears streamed from her eyes. “I’m so s-sorry, Gerald. You m-must think me w-wanton. And I w-will release you f-from any obligation. My f-father wouldn’t have expected you t-to honor a b-betrothal to a soiled w-woman.”
“Selena, what are you talking about?” His hands held her face and he looked down at her, his eyes opened wide with shock. “Why would you say that?”
“Because I am not who you thought I was. I’d give anything to reclaim the bliss of believing that you were the first man to kiss me, but I can’t unremember what happened.”
“My love, you did nothing wrong. What happened to you was a violation. That bastard attacked you, violated you. That was not a kiss he gave you. He forced himself upon you, and I thank God that you did not suffer any more than you did. But what you went through was not your fault. And I am only sorry that you had to go through it alone. But the fact that you escaped and rode all the way here in a rainstorm no less, only shows how courageous and strong you are.”
“You think I’m brave and strong?”
“Yes. Yes. I do!”
“So, you forgive me for what happened?”
“Oh, Selena.” He held her tight and kissed her forehead. “There is nothing to forgive.”
“But—I’m not the woman you thought I was.”
“Do you remember forgiving me the day of the picnic when I admitted to you about that stupid bet, the one I made at the Adamson ball five years ago?”
“Yes.”
“Even though you had your amnesia at the time, you said that no matter what, even if and when your memory returned you would still feel the same way. That you forgave me…And now that you remember what you saw me do that night five years ago. How do you feel? Do you still forgive me?”
“Yes, of course, without question.”
“Do you hold it against me?”
“No. I would never do that.”
