He cleared his throat. “There is something, I’d like to talk to you about Selena. Something important.”
He helped her back to her seat.
“What is it you need to tell me, Gerald?” She smiled, giving him her full attention.
She was straightforward and guileless—something else he liked about her.
His stomach churned nervously. “I’d like to apologize to you,” he began.
“Apology?” she arched a delicate brow. “You have been nothing but kind since I arrived here,” she said. “You saved my life. I feel safe with you.”
Her openly adoring gaze took his breath away.God, I was such a heel.Despite that, he forged forward.
“You are perfectly safe; however, I have not always been kind. The last time we saw each other was six years ago. At the time, I was not ready to marry and rebelled against my parents over my forced betrothal. Unfortunately, I did that without giving any thought to how my actions would make you feel. That night we were to meet in person, for the first time since we were children, was at the Adamson ball. Despite our betrothal, we were virtual strangers. Which was why our parents had wanted us to meet. You were sixteen, attending with your parents. It was your first London Season. But that same night, I’d made a bet with my friends. A stupid bet. We bet how long it would take Lady Adamson to proposition each of us.”
A flush infused Selena’s cheeks but she nodded for him to continue.
“Lady Adamson was thirty years younger than her husband and quite frankly, well known for her various liaisons. That night I won the bet. And the prize was a rendezvous in Adamson’s garden at the ball. At the same time, my parents and your parents and you were taking a stroll through the gardens…”
Selena’s eyes widened. “Ohh…I see…”
Gerald nodded. “We were discovered. My parents, your parents, and you came upon Lady Adamson and me engaged in a rather animated embrace in a gazebo.
“A gazebo…”
“At the time, I froze. I looked at you and you were so young, so innocent. But I was too selfish, too rebellious, too immature... His face felt hot. For the first time in his life, Gerald realized what real shame felt like. “I should have apologized to you and your parents back then. In person and in writing. But I didn’t—I was a cad and a scoundrel. It was only when my father banished me here…” he spread his arms gesturing around him,“that I began to grow up and become the kind of man, who I hope is worthy of you.”
“I deeply regret my actions—for embarrassing my family and causing insult to yours. But most of all, I am so sorry for hurting you.” He looked into her beautiful eyes, now shimmering with tears. “I hope you can forgive me,” he said in a hoarse voice. “I hope you will allow me to atone for my past and I hope you will continue to accept me as your betrothed…”
Selena listened and remained silent for a while after he finished speaking. Finally, she took a deep breath and released it slowly. “While I agree that you were selfish and brash, and hurtful. But I am thankful for your honesty with me today. And I believe you have spent a long time thinking about your past and changing your life.” She reached out and laid her hand over his. “You have opened your home and your heart to me. I may not have my memory, but I have a sound mind. And I see a good man before me. A man who is respected and beloved by everyone who works for him. A man who sat by my bedside all night and cared for me through my fever. I see a man who has gone to so much effort to please me,” she said in a husky voice, her eyes brimming with tears. “I don’t think our futures should be defined by mistakes we made in the past. Even though, I cannot remember that night, I believe that should my memory return, I will feel the same as I do right now…I forgive you, Gerald.
My God, she is incredible.He didn’t deserve to be betrothed to her, but he would do his damndest to make sure he never hurt her again. “Selena, I just want—"
“Hush.” She smiled, placing her finger on his lips. “No more apologies. You are forgiven.” Then, she looked up at him. I want to know more about you, Viscount Lawrence…the man you are today. That is what is important to me. Now, tell me more about this lovely estate that you have worked so hard to renovate.What do you love the most about the work you do here? What are your goals for the future? What do you enjoy doing most in life? Tell me anything and everything. With my memory gone, I’m still trying to figure that out about myself, although I think it has something to do with the outdoors. But it’s my sincere hope that we can have something we enjoy in common.”
Gerald slanted his head and looked at this beautiful woman across from him. He was certain most women would have slapped him across the face and walked away from him, but not this one. Instead, she had given him grace. What mattered to Selena was the here and now. This slip of a girl who couldn’t remember her past. Perhaps that’s what should matter. In just a matter of days, Selena Bowles had completely upended his life. She was the most incredible woman he’d ever met. His anxiety had calmed, and his heart felt lighter. “Horses,” he answered.
Tell me about your racehorses,” she said. “They are such noble and kind animals, I should think it would be most exhilarating to watch them race.”
“More than you can imagine,” he said. “One day I’ll take you. And they are, indeed, noble.”
“Have you won any races?”
“I have.” He grinned. “When my father banished me here, he essentially challenged me to do something useful with my life. I was resentful at first, but then I realized he was right and so I set out to meet his challenge and hopefully build something I could be proud of…and perhaps make my father proud of me too. Over time, and with Connery’s guidance and wisdom, I learned a lot about raising thoroughbreds and racing them. I suppose you could say I developed a passion for it.”
“I am certain your father is proud of you,” she said softly.
Gerald swallowed the lump in his throat as he gazed at her lovely face.
“I would love to meet all of your horses—” Selena’s eyes suddenly widened at something over his shoulder.
“Is everything all right?”
“Yes, something is quite wonderful,” she said pointing to the pond beyond the window. “A pair of swans, Gerald. May we take a closer look?”
“Of course.” Grinning at her enthusiasm, he stood and taking her hand, helped her up and escorted her out to the pond. The grass was damp, but not muddy given the rain had stopped and the sun was warm.
The swans glided side by side, leaving a slight ripple in the surface of the water. The symbolism of the pair didn’t escape him. Swans mated for life and the duo in the pond appeared to have built their nest nearby.
