Lucywalked to the window in her bedchamber and gazed at the night sky.Thegrounds were blanketed with heavy snow.Thetwinkling stars made the snow glitter like diamonds.
“Lucy, a lot has happened today, and it can seem overwhelming,”Katiesaid as she followedLucyto the window. “Buteveryone at the party is so happy for you both.Iknow you’re worried about theton, butIdon’t think you should be.”
“We’veseen the wayLordScarboroughlooks at you,”Paulasaid, sitting onLucy’sbed.
“Howdoes he look at me?”Lucyasked over her shoulder.
“Likehe’s a starving man, and you’re a juicyChristmasgoose.”
Lucyrolled her eyes. “You’rejust saying that because you’re my friend.”
“Areyou blind?”Paulaalmost shouted.
“Stoparguing, you two,”Katiescolded. “LordScarboroughis a noble and good man.He’sbeen friends withThomas,Nelson, andSebastianfor years.Noone could have forced him to do anything.Youmust mean a lot to him for him to propose.Sebastiansaid he never wavered.”
“He’smarrying me out of duty,”Lucyinsisted.Hervoice trembled with sadness as she spoke.
“Doyou love him?”Paulaasked.
“Ido,” she breathed. “ButIwon’t put myself in another loveless marriage.”
“Haveyou spoken to him?Haveyou told him how you feel?”Paulapersisted.
“Paula, stop being so bossy,”Katieadmonished.SheheldLucy’shands in hers.
“Lucy, you’re over tired.It’sbeen a trying few days.Pleaseget some rest.We’llspeak more about this tomorrow morning.”
“You’llbe able to think more clearly in the morning after a good night’s rest,”Paulaadded, huggingLucy.
“Everythingwill be clearer in the morning,”Katiesaid.
“Perhapsyou are right,”Lucyagreed.Shesaid good night to her friends and rang forMary.Shewould tellMaryaboutAshe, and then retrieve him from the stable and bring him to her room.Everythingwould be all too clear in the morning.That’swhat worried her, and that was why she needed to make the right decision.
CHAPTER TWELVE
EARLY THE NEXT MORNING
Lucysat in the dark carriage across fromMaryon her way back toLondon.Mr.Currant, her father’s driver, wasn’t happy when she andMaryslipped out to the stable to tell him they were leaving at five o’clock in the morning.Unwillingto be deterred, she wanted to be gone well beforeRowanawoke.Marywasn’t happy either and, in subtle ways, made that known toLucy.ButLucycouldn’t stay and pretend to be happy about another marriage that didn’t hold the promise of love.
Somehow, during those two days alone with him in his dilapidated manor home, where they cooked, talked, and read those letters…she had fallen for him.Headover heels.Whenthey had been discovered without a chaperone, she knew he’d do the right thing and offer for her.Butit wasn’t right.Itwasn’t fair to him.Heshouldn’t be shackled to someone he didn’t love.Norwas it fair to her.Shecouldn’t be in a marriage without being loved in return.Yes, there would be gossip.Horriblegossip.Butshe’d rather weather the gossip than a lifetime without love.
Themoonlight brightened the landscape and created a soft glow, giving them ample light to see the road.Mr.Curranthad warned about the bends in the road, made worse after the snowstorm.Thesnow and ice had churned into the mud and had frozen overnight, making the hilly areas that they would pass on their way back toLondonmore treacherous for the horses and the carriage, butLucyhadn’t heeded his warnings.Shejust couldn’t stay one more moment, knowing her heart was breaking.
“It’llbe all right, won’t it,Ashe?” she whispered, trying to swallow past the large lump in her throat.Thesmall animal stood on her lap with his paws on the window and looked at the manor house growing smaller behind him.Asoft whimper escaped him.Lucywasn’t sure, but she thought he wasn’t in agreement with her decision, either.
“Ileft the note you wrote forLordScarboroughbeneath his door and the ones you had written forLadyLatham,MissGowans, andLadySorenbeneath theirs,”Marysaid softly. “Imade sure no one saw me, andIwas quiet so as not to wake them up.”
“Thankyou,Mary.AndIapologize to you.Ihated to leave under such conditions and can’t really explain it to you, but suffice it to say thisChristmasholiday hasn’t gone the wayIwould have wished.”
Ashegave a soft cry, almost as if he protested her statement.
“Ididn’t mean you,Ashe.Iknow you’d not be with us hadInot gone.”
Marysnorted. “Yourparents will be most unhappy with you, milady, when they find out about the broken engagement and your new pet.”
Normally, she would not take issue withMary’sattitude, but for reasons she couldn’t define, she became irritated. “Iknow you won’t be the person that tells them, though.Theywill find out soon enough from thatTattlerrag.Noone inLondonhas ever spared a thought for me and whatIwant.Besides,I’mtired of giving in to whatever my parents want.I’ma widow.AndI’veearned the privileges that come with that title.ForGod’ssake,Imarried a jewel thief—by proxy, no less.Andthe man was shot and killed in the act of stealing.”
Marysmiled and shrugged. “Atleast he died doing something he enjoyed, milady.”
