“Wife? You mean get married?”
He offers me a shy smile. “That’s kind of how it works.”
“But it’s not fair on you,” I say. “You can’t want to marry me when the chances are I won’t be able to give you all the things a wife should be able to give her husband. I’m going to have to come into the hospital three times a week for the rest of my life.”
“Not if you find a donor,” he interrupts.
“The chances of that are low, Rocco. And even if one does happen to come along, it might not take. Donor kidneys fail all the time. And it’s not just about the hospital trips. There’s only a very small chance of me ever getting pregnant, and even if I did, it would be extremely high-risk, and the chances are that the pregnancy will end in miscarriage. If you want a family in the future, you need to find someone else, because I won’t be the one who can give that to you.”
Tears stream down my face now, and he pulls me in and kisses the salt from my cheeks. “Hey, I want to marryyou, not some imaginary future baby.”
“You feel that way now, but in a few years things might be different.”
He shakes his head. “No, they won’t. I’ve loved you my whole life, and nothing is going to change that. And I don’t care what sacrifices I have to make in order to be with you. I’ll give up everything, because nothing else matters unless I’m with you.”
I choke back a sob and grip on tightly to his shoulders, holding him as hard as I can, never wanting to let go. I don’tknow what I’ve done to deserve him coming back into my life again, but now he’s here, I can’t imagine trying to live without him. Even the thought terrifies me.
“I’m just scared that you’ll say all this now, but a few years down the line, when I’ve come to depend on you, you’ll realise it’s too much, and you’ll be gone.”
“I’ve got no reason to lie to you, Sophia. You’ve given me an out, if I wanted to take it, and I’m telling you I don’t.” He cups my face in both his hands so he can look into my eyes. “My whole world is you, and that isn’t going to change. I swear my life on it.”
15
ROCCO
It breaks my heart to see her this way. I meant every word I said, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love to see her strong and healthy, and even carrying my baby one day. I want her to be my wife, even if none of those things happen, but I want her to have all those things, too.
When I step out of the room, I spot one of her nurses walking down the corridor, and I hurry to catch up.
“Excuse me, Nurse.”
She turns to me with a smile. “It’s Linda. What can I do for you?”
“How would I go about getting tested to see if I’d be a match for Sophia? For her kidney, I mean.”
The nurse, Linda, frowns. “Is this something you’ve really thought about? You must consider the implications. If you’re left with only one kidney and something happens to it, you’ll end up in the same position as Sophia.”
“I know that. If it means I get to sit beside her every three days, then I’m fine with that, too.”
“And you know your chances of being a match are slim, and that donor kidneys don’t always take. There’s a chance you’lldonate your kidney, only for it to fail, and then you’ll have put yourself through all of that for nothing.”
I nod. “I know. I’ve done my research, I’m aware of what I’m letting myself in for, but honestly, it’s nothing compared with what Sophia has been battling for the last ten years.”
She smiles and pats me on the arm. “She’s very lucky to have you.”
“Can I ask something else?”
“Of course.”
“Can you keep this between us? I don’t want to give her any false hope, in case it doesn’t happen.”
“I think she’d like to know what you’re prepared to put yourself through for her,” she says.
“Maybe, but she’ll find all that out if I’m a match anyway, won’t she?”
She nods and smiles again. “Yes, that’s true. The test doesn’t take long to do, and the results come back quickly.”
“Thanks, Linda.”
