“You chose to stay with me instead of running when you could have?—”
“I said stop!”
Katya pulls back her hand like she’s going to slap me, but catches herself at the last second. We stare at each other, both breathing hard and fighting against the electricity that’s still between us despite everything.
“You want to hit me,” I observe.
She grits her teeth and spits out, “I want to kill you.”
“But you won’t. Despite everything I’ve done, you still feel something for me that you can’t dismiss or explain away.”
Her hands snake up between us and settle on my chest, and for a moment, I think she’s going to hold me, to fall into me and give in, but instead, she shoves me backward, hauling all her weight against me until I stagger back a few steps.
“I feel betrayed. I feel violated. I feel like everything I thought I knew about myself was a lie.”
“And?”
“And nothing. That’s it.”
“That’s not it. There’s something else you feel. Something you don’t want to admit because it complicates your nice, clean narrative about being the victim of my psychological manipulation.”
“Which is?”
I reach out and grab her arm, but she digs her heels in, preventing me from bringing her any closer without hurting her, which I refuse to do. “Love. Real, genuine, inconvenient love for the man who destroyed your life and rebuilt it into something better.”
“Better?” She sputters her lips and asks, “You think this is better?”
“You were more alive with me than with them. You know it.”
“You don’t know anything about my life before this.”
“I know enough. I know you were alone, dedicated to a job that required you to lie professionally and trust no one personally. I know you’ve spent years pretending to be someone you’re not for people who see you as an expendable asset.”
Her eyes narrow to slits, and she wrenches her arm free. “At least they never pretended to love me while they were using me.” She stalks toward the door, then stops and looks back at me. “For what it’s worth, Ididfall in love with you. Real, genuine, inconvenient love. And that’s the part I’ll never forgive myself for.”
She slams the door behind her, leaving me alone with the ruins of everything I thought I’d built.
She’s gone. The woman I kidnapped, manipulated, and somehow managed to love anyway is gone, and I have no idea if she’ll ever come back.
All I know is that losing her feels like dying, and I finally understand why people say revenge is a dish best served cold.
Because the meal I spent months preparing just burned down my entire fucking world.
31
Katya
I see Dmitri’s face with every step I take through Moscow’s alleys.
The hurt in his eyes when I called him my kidnapper won’t leave me.
Three hours ago, I watched everything between us fall apart in his office.
After our fight, I locked myself in the bedroom, trying to figure out my next move.
Pavel’s unsigned documents stared from the dresser, demanding a decision I wasn’t ready for.
Sign, and I betray the man I love. Refuse and face whatever punishment my handlers decide.
