“Cruelty,” she mutters.
“How helpful of you, Margot,” I chuckle.
“Has anyone ever told you what sex is?” she asks.
“It’s for reproduction,” I say. “Beyond anatomy, I don’t know.”
“It is for reproduction, yes, but it is also for pleasure. Women are not allowed sex for pleasure, but there are no rules regarding men,” she explains. “You need to prepare for the fact that your chosen husband will fuck you, and it will hurt. He might take you vaginally, anally, or even orally. He could choose to share you among friends or take another female, with or without your knowledge. They are allowed sexual freedom, whereas you are an item for them to utilize.”
“How do you know this?” I ask.
“Because females of any color are available to men. They are not allowed to touch you until you are of the chosen age. Beyond that, they can take you for any reason at any time,” she says with sadness in her eyes. “The patrol on this street visits me often.”
“You mean…”
“They rape me, Astra. Daily,” she says. “And they will do the same to you. The only alternative is death, and you will find that it’s preferable.”
“I’m sorry they hurt you,” I say quietly, bowing my head.
“Astra, never give up your free will. Even if it means death,” she says. “You and I were blessed with the ability to see the world for what it really is. Never take that for granted.”
“What if I don’t want to have sex with my husband?” I ask.
“Honestly? He won’t give you a choice. If you resist, you will only be punished,” she says. “You have to decide for yourself if you are willing to face punishment in exchange for your pride. The only way we find freedom is in death, unless you want to face life beyond the wall.”
“That’s a possibility?” I ask.
“Far more than it is made out to be,” she says. “Change is coming, but you have to survive that long.”
“Meaning?”
“Keep your head down. Do as you are told. When the time comes, don’t resist change,” she says.
“Is that all I get?” I ask.
“Unfortunately,” she says. “That is all I know.”
“Well, you have not been wrong yet,” I shrug. “I think I would rather face the cannibals and savages than my chosen husband, though.”
“I don’t blame you in the slightest,” she says. “Let’s get you fitted before someone grows suspicious.”
We are both silent as she goes through the process of measuring me and piecing together fabric. The dress that my chosen husband has ordered is a short, mid-thigh dress. It is form-fitting and does not leave much to the imagination. I hate toadmit it, but I like it. I am used to wearing concealing garments as a way of self-preservation ordered by the government so men are not tempted into sin, but this shows off everything that I keep hidden. I’m understanding now that this temptation would lead to sex, and they are forbidden from touching me until I am of the chosen age.
As time ticks by, the excitement wears off, and the fear sneaks in. Life beyond the wall is showing to be far more preferable to what I might face tomorrow.
Chapter Two
Astra
I’ve spent the entiremorning being prepared by the servants for my chosen husband. I’ve been washed and shaven extensively, leaving me more annoyed than when I woke up. I tried to find positivity among the unknown, but it has only left me with anger. Why can I not choose my husband for myself? It is my life that is being affected, so why would someone else choose that for me? I don’t believe I am supposed to be questioning these things.
Once I am dressed in my chosen outfit, the group home caretaker leads me to the sidewalk. It is their job to take me to my husband, but I presume this is to ensure that I do not attempt to escape. I walk silently with my head bowed, just as I have been trained. The closer to the center of the city I get, the more apparent it becomes that I will be married to a government official.
We stop in front of a home, and the placard reads ‘Vinny Black.’ This is likely the worst possible selection I could have received. Vinny Black is the offspring of Aaron Black. Usually, infants are taken from their biological parents and placed with civil servant caregivers. Government officials of higher ranks are allowed to keep their children so that they may take their position when they reach the chosen age. The chosen age for men is thirty.
When I don’t move, the caregiver pushes me in the direction of the home. “The punishment for disobedience going forward is death,” she warns. I sigh and nod before walking to the door. Vinny Black is well known for his cruelty among those who see the world as I do, but is also held in high regard by the blind.
I slowly enter the house, and it is scarily quiet. Am I allowed to call out for him? Do I just stand here and wait? I am supposed to present myself to him, but how? I decide to present myself where I stand now. I sink to my knees and bow my head. My ankles are crossed, and my hands are clasped behind my back. This allows my long, curly brown hair to fall forward and conceal my face.
