Devin
Deep down, I knew Ishould have listened to my gut telling me this was a horrible idea.
I knew this was going to happen, that somehow, I would end up in a mess like this.
My biggest fear is having my name dragged through the mud, and now there’s a high probability it’s happening. My anxiety is on overdrive.
I knew the consequences of being with Sebastian, yet I did it anyway.
“I’m just going to leave for a bit... clear my head,” I say, standing from the sofa I’ve been plastered to this entire time. “I can’t think right now. I need to be alone for a little while.”
“Devin.” My name lingers on Sebastian’s lips for a moment. “Stay here with me. We should talk about this.”
Madison stands from her seat, smoothing out her skirt. “I’m going to excuse myself and let you two have time to talk.”
She exits her office, leaving us alone, even though I wish she would have stayed. Groaning, I play with a piece of my hair nervously. “I don’t know if there is anything to talk about. I think everything has been said already, Sebastian.”
The door closes behind Madison and in the blink of an eye Sebastian closes the distance between us, making sure to move us away from the glass panels aside the door and possible prying eyes. “Talk to me, princess. Tell me what’s going on inside your beautiful mind. Don’t shut me out. Yell at me. Scream if it will make you feel better, just don’t push me away. Don’t let them win.”
His words tug at my heartstrings. He moves his hand toward me slowly, as if he’s gauging my reaction to his touch. When I don’t back away, he threads his fingers through my hair. The way he touches me, as if he understands me and how I feel in this moment, makes me weak for him. Without hesitation, I lean into his touch, even though I know I shouldn’t.
“Don’t try to use your mind games on me, Sebastian Brooks.” My voice softens as he plays with small strands of my hair, relieving some of my inner tension. “There isn’t anything or anyone who can make this go away except the person doing it, and we have no idea who it is or what they are planning to do next. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop... again. This time I know it’s coming, just not from where and when.”
My anxiety grows with admitting the gravity of this situation out loud. Sebastian must be able to sense it too. He takes my hand in his and leads me to the chairs in front of Madison’s desk.
“Come sit.”
Both of us take a seat, facing each other. His eyelids look heavy, and his always perfect hair is messed up from running his hands through it. He looks tired and, honestly, a little worn out.
“I know you’re worried about what’s going to happen next,” he begins.
“I am.”
Worried may be an understatement. Terrified is more like it.
“Talk to me. Don’t keep it all inside. That’s only going to make it worse.”
Taking in his words, I blow out a long, exhausted breath and twirl a piece of my hair again. “What do you want me to say, Sebastian? Do you want me to tell you how I’m worried about my career—about my life and my reputation. How this was my biggest fear getting involved with you and now it’s all happening? If the press finds out my name, this industry will ridicule me for being the woman who fucked her way to the top regardless of any truth.”
“I won’t let that happen.” He stares into my eyes, ensuring I hear his words rather than let them just filter through my ears. “At the end of the day, I will take the fall for this, Devin. I will do just about anything to protect you from any fallout. I promise I won’t let any of this affect your career.”
“You keep making all these promises, Sebastian, and you don’t even know if you can keep them. You can’t control what happens to my reputation after this.”
When Sebastian cringes, I know my words have hurt him, but I won’t lie to him or myself. It’s not fair to either of us to have false hope. I want to trust him, but I’m not sure I can or if it matters. This situation is out of our hands.
“You are driven and brilliant. I have no doubts you will continue to dominate in this industry, regardless of however this turns out.” The intensity in his eyes matches his words. “You’re smart enough to find a way to kill the bad reputation and replace it with a good one again. You need to stop insulting yourself by thinking that the only thing you have going for you is word of mouth.”
Seriously?“And I know you’re not dumb enough to believe that garbage you just tried to feed me,” I growl. “I know you mean well, Sebastian, but this isn’t a bad mood you can sweet-talk me out of. We both know if people figure out that photo is of me, I’m done. Everything I’ve worked for gone. All it takes is one rumor to ruin someone, and I’ve got a lovely photo in the paper. How do you think that’s going to work for me?”
I’m being harsh and lashing out at him, but his callousness about the seriousness of this situation annoys me.
“Devin,” he sighs. “I get it, okay. I do. I just don’t want to lose you over this. It’s out there now, and all we can do is hope that no one finds out it’s you. Let them say what they want about me. They’ve been doing it for a while now.”
He doesn’t get it. “While I appreciate that, Sebastian, I really do, it doesn’t change anything. If people find out that’s me getting nailed over your desk, my life will become hell here. It may not spread outside this city, but I’d have to relocate, again. I just got home; I don’t want to leave. There’s still no guarantee in leaving, either. You never know who knows who. You’re a perfect example; look at what this person is doing to you. If someone wanted, they could hold that photo over me for the rest of my life.”
The idea of someone being vengeful enough to follow my career and constantly hold this picture over my head, threatening to ruin me everywhere I go, has my heart hammering in my chest. We have no idea who is doing this or why. We know nothing about their motives or why they’re targeting us.
I can’t breathe. Bending over, I place my head between my knees, trying to calm my breathing. Sebastian’s hand rubs up and down my back, and despite my anger with him at the moment, his touch soothes me, making it easier for me to concentrate on relaxing.
