Sebastian
“Igrabbed you another drink,”Jax says as he places a glass on the table in front of me.
“Thanks, maybe it will help clear the clusterfuck in my head.”
He takes a seat across the table and pops a fry into his mouth. “What’s going on now? I swear your life is as drama filled as an episode ofDays of Our Lives. Every day it’s a new drama.”
I quirk an eyebrow. “Watch many soap operas?”
“Fuck off,” he says with his mouth full as he continues to shove fries into his face. “So what’s the latest?”
Arianna chimes in before I have the chance to answer. “Yeah, what’s going on? Did something new happen?”
Blowing out a deep breath, I try to untangle the mess in my head enough to answer them.
“We got the news that my office is clear of bugs, so Devin came into my office while they swept hers. It was the first time we were truly free to speak to one another. It was a short conversation, but it was a conversation at least.”
“And....” Arianna tosses her hands in the air in question. “She looked absolutely tortured last night. My heart went out to her.”
“She said she was sorry. I’m just not sure how to take it. She wants to know if we’re fixable, but I’m not sure of the answer. I mean, yeah, I’m doing all this for her, but I still don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get past how she acted. Regardless of that, we can’t talk outside of work. We can’t be together in any form, so what is there to fix?”
“Here’s the thing,” Jax says. “You have to take this one step at a time. Fix one thing at a time. Right now, you’re working on reestablishing communication where you can. The rest isn’t permanent. As soon as you can, you’ll begin working on the rest. So, that won’t be a problem forever.”
“She gutted me,” I admit to them. “I thought we were something more than just a forbidden fling, yet she doesn’t seem to feel the same way I do.”
Devin makes me feel so much, so fast, so intensely. I don’t know how to handle these feelings. I’ve never felt this way before.
I’ve never met a woman like her, and I doubt I’ll ever meet another one.
“I doubt she meant it in that way.” Arianna sighs, picking at the corner of her napkin. “I saw what she didn’t want anyone to see last night. She loves you. From the way you two talk about her, besides the ‘incident,’ she seems like an amazing person. Maybe she was scared, Sebastian. Haven’t you seen any horror movies? Fear makes people do stupid things—like run up the stairs as if they could get away that way. She probably reacted first and thought second. She made a mistake.”
“Dude, you’re being a fucking baby. I know the whole office-romance comment caught you off guard, but she said she was sorry. She’s apologized and wants to fix it. It’s not like she went out and banged some other dude. She said something stupid, regrets it, and wants to make it up to you.”
I take a sip from my beer and shake my head. “She shouldn’t feel that way about us. We’re not just an office romance. We’re dating. If we were just a forbidden fling, I wouldn’t have practically moved her into my place and gave her a key. You know me better than that.”
“True,” he agrees. “But I’m sure Arianna is right. Maybe it didn’t come out the way she meant it. I also wouldn’t doubt that, because you’re so pissed off, you took her words in the wrong context.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “She was pretty clear with her context.”
A loud snort rips from Arianna. “No offense, but most of the time, men take things in the wrong context. Almost all of the men I’ve come in contact with have the attention span of a two-year-old, and more often than not, only hear what they want to hear.”
“No,” Jax disagrees vehemently. “The guys you’re hanging around are boys then, because real men listen to their woman.”
“I date men,” she argues.
I watch as Jax and Arianna have a stare down across the table, ready to go to battle over this nonsense.
“I understand she’s focused on her career and doesn’t want it to be destroyed by us being together, but at the same time, I wish she felt like being with me was worth the hypothetical consequences.” I pause, taking a deep breath. “I’d give anything for her. If someone asked me to choose between her and my company, I’d choose her in a fucking heartbeat. She lit something inside me. She made me see all that’s been missing from my life. I don’t want to be one of the city’s most eligible bachelors anymore who goes out and hooks up with a different chick every night. I want to be home with Devin, curled up on the couch together watching some stupid television show. I want it all—the company, Devin, a family. But if for some reason I couldn’t have it all, I’d be content with only her. I know she worries about her reputation, but she could reestablish that reputation and involve me in it, not hide me away like some secret. I don’t want to be Devin’s secret forever. I want to be by her side, especially at the times it matters most.”
Jax stares at me with his mouth hanging open while Arianna practically swoons off her chair. “You need to tell her that. Maybe if you guys had been open with your feelings about love, she wouldn’t have freaked. If I had a man who loved me that much, I’d never let him go, for anything.”
“Yeah, man,” Jax chimes in. “You should’ve just told her you love her.”
“You’re rooting for this now? You hated the idea of us together from the beginning,” I remind him.
“Things changed.” He shrugs. “You changed.”
“What?” I stare across the table at him.
