I shake my head. Devin’s words echo inside my head.Office affair... office affair... office affair. “I don’t think so, Madison.”
“Why?” She tilts her head to the side, looking confused. “I know she’s a wreck, and I understand why. I would be too if someone was threatening everything I worked for. It was smart for her to go home and get out of here for now, but we are going to handle this, and then it will all settle down. She’ll be okay.”
“I sent her home,” I tell her. “And it had nothing to do with her panic attack.”
Madison raises an eyebrow, silently demanding a further explanation.
“She said she didn’t want her life’s work to be ruined because of some office affair.”
Madison winces but recovers quickly and moves on to trying to console me. “I doubt she meant it, Sebastian,” she says. “She was stressed, panicked, and scared. We all say things we don’t mean when we’re afraid.”
“It’s not what she said.” I stand from the chair I’ve been glued to for the last hour and pace the small space between my desk and the window. “While that itself was kind of fucked up, it’s more of how she said it. As if the only thing that matters to her,ever, is her own career. This bullshit isn’t exactly skyrocketingmycareer to new heights. Hell, because of this, I had to take a back seat in my own goddamn company. My first thoughts this morning were of her—not myself or what the fallout from this will do to me, but her. All Devin cares about is herself. How can I love someone who doesn’t care about me in a situation like this? And before you say it, yes, I understand the consequences of this will hurt her more than it will me, but that’s not the fucking point, Madison. She doesn’t want to lose her career over an affair? I put my heart and soul into us, and she only thinks of us as a fling. Talk about a fucking shot to the heart.”
Madison closes the distance between us and wraps me in a hug. “I know you’re hurt,” she says softly. “But so is she. She knows this isn’t your fault. Give her some time before you decide she isn’t worth the fight. We always hurt the ones we love the most, Sebastian. It’s human nature.”
After today, I don’t think even Devin could convince me she loves me. But that’s not the worst of it. I don’t think I could convince myself, even after her hurtful words, that I don’t love her.
I see why I wasn’t interested in love before.
