I reach my hand out for her, but she doesn’t take it. I don’t know if it’s because she’s afraid she’ll never let me go or if she’s just so fragile right now that any closeness will break her. She’s always been careful not to shatter when I need her to be strong, but now I wish she weren’t.
My eyelids grow heavy as I watch her in the fading firelight.
“You’re going to be fine, and I will see you in a few weeks.”
“What if I’m not?” I ask, blinking up at her.
She smiles softly. “My heart.”
I close my eyes, searching for the steadiness the words bring. “My bones.”
“Our blood.” Our whispers are barely audible.
With my sister’s fingers stroking my hair, I let the exhaustion of the day sweep me into the dark.
13
HARLOW
The shadow of the North Hold guard towers loom over me as I study the elaborate reinforced locking system on the gates. It’s a marvel of engineering, but I haven’t the faintest idea how it works because I’ve never been this close to the gates when they open.
A few yards away, several large geldings stir restlessly as Henry quietly converses with his parents. They brought a remarkably small contingent of guards to the city. I’d expect more security for the leaders of their household. I’m not certain of the scope of a blessing from Asher, the Divine of Endings. Maybe they don’t need a horde of guards. That thought sends a chill up my spine.
I wonder absently how the defenses of Mountain Haven are holding up with them here. How do they keep their wall secure without holy fire? In Lunameade, it’s such a rare magic, gifted by Vardek, the Divine of Protection. My father and Able are the only ones who can wield such magic. But I suppose it’s possible that there is someone similarly blessed hidden somewhere in Mountain Haven.
I try to ignore the fact that somewhere inside the tall walls of the manor behind us, Aidia is probably watching from some high window, taking shallow breaths so as not to hurt her bruised ribs.
I turn and wave, but I know if I lay eyes on her right now, with her staying in her cage and me flying free, I will lose my nerve.
I take three deep breaths in and out to settle the twisting, raw feeling of leaving her. It feels like failing, like surrendering to my parents once again. I can’t shake the sense that I’m letting down the women of the city who count on the Poison Vixen. How can I escape when so many others are trapped?
But if I don’t go, I can’t return with the answers. And if I can’t assess this threat for my parents, I can’t get access to the tunnel.
Fear settles in my bones. When the task was distant, it felt entirely doable, but for the first time, it hits me that I might never return. In trying to find the leverage to save my sister, I might doom her to be trapped here alone forever.
Aidia has always felt stitched to me. I always assumed it would be a sharp rending that separated us, but this is more like a slow, brutal tear. I feel the distance grow by the second, and I haven’t even passed through the gates to the outside world.
The morning is cold, a sharp wind whipping over the wall. I focus on its breath-stealing chill to steady myself.
Henry approaches slowly, perhaps sensing my nervousness, or just waiting for me to turn into a wilting mess. He’s wearing a heavy fur-lined coat and well-worn riding boots, his hair neatly combed back. Much to my annoyance, he looks handsome, like some mythic dark god who drags maidens into the forest.
Though I’ve never been one for devotion, I tilt my chin up, praying to the Divine that everything I’m feeling isn’t written all over my face.
Henry’s gaze lingers behind me. “No parents?”
“We said our farewells last night.”
There’s a hint of disapproval in his frown.
“Careful, Henry. Pity is one step removed from tolerance,” I taunt.
His lips twitch. “Tolerating my wife. Sounds terrible.” Footsteps crunch behind me, and Henry purses his lips. “Seems you’re not forgotten after all. Your brother’s here to see you off.”
I turn in time to see Kellan smile tightly and nod at Henry in the way men do to casually dismiss each other. Henry takes the hint and walks back to his horse by the gate.
Kellan guides me off to the side. “Have everything you need?” he asks.
He means my dagger.
