She smiled tightly, her eyes darting around the crowd before coming to rest on Teddy. She leaned in closer and he saw a rare hint of anger in her eyes. “No. You’re competing in the Gauntlet Gamesfor you. Or maybe to make a point to your father. I explicitly asked you not to take this risk, but you had your heart set on it.”
The liquor had gone to Teddy’s head, and his thoughts were muddled. He wanted to counter her argument. If he could just think clearly, he was certain he could win her over.
Grace cupped her glass in both hands and stared down into the whiskey. “I tried to talk to you before this trip, when your parents first began bringing up a political marriage. But you didn’t listen. I thought maybe going to the temple would make you understand. But it’s as if the more you’re met with obstacles, the more you want to prove the world wrong. I didn’t expect—” Her voice broke.
A cold ache spread through Teddy’s chest. “You didn’t think we would be paired?” Breathless disbelief wrenched the words from his stupid, drunk mouth.
“I did not expect to be paired with you or anyone else. At first, I thought that the goddess was just messing with Stella, but when she whispered to me after she paired us, she said that life is full of surprises and sometimes our greatest loves hide in plain sight.”
“Fuck that,” Teddy said. “Fuck the gods and their meddling. She doesn’t know you and your heart. She doesn’t know the way you are the safe place for me to be myself.”
Grace held up her hands to brace against his anger. “It got me thinking that someone could love me for me, and not just for the way I make them feel.” She licked her lips. “Lately I have wondered if we serve each other not in growing stronger, but in staying rutted in our ways. I have loved you for so long that it became the singular focus of my days. I think that I’ve lost myself. I would like the chance to see who I am now.”
Teddy’s mouth went dry as he fumbled for anything to change her mind. “I can fix this?—”
“You can’t,” Grace said softly. “I love you for always wanting to fix everything. But not every problem can be solved with more effort or perfection on your part. It is a credit to your character that you care enough to change for me, but this is something I need to do.”
The words were like a body blow that left him struggling for air. He had to be able to fix it. There had never been a problem he couldn’t fix by trying harder—by being better.
But this wasn’t fixable. She wanted time and freedom, and he was terrified of losing her.
“I realize the timing is bad and I feel selfish for even asking, but I’m worried I would always wonder if I didn’t at least try to see what it would be like to spend time with Arden. I’d like to do it with a clear conscience. Hurting you is not my intention—” Her voice broke again. Grace blinked her eyes and looked at the ceiling.
Panic spread through Teddy’s rib cage until it was hard to draw a full breath. He was furious at himself for not noticing. How could he have been so consumed with his own worries that he hadn’t realized how unhappy she was?
“I think we’ve grown too much together and I would like to see who I can be unburdened by the weight of your expectations,” she said, her voice a hoarse whisper. “I think it could be good for us. Perhaps this will be clarifying and we will find our way back to each other feeling more confident than ever.”
Gods, he was not expecting the way those words would sting. He was bringing her down—the only woman he’d ever loved.
Teddy wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and leaned forward. “Well, it sounds like you’ve decided what’s best for both of us. Or did you just hope I’d offer you absolution for leaving me in such a critical moment?”
He was surprised by the sharpness of his anger. He hadn’t meant to sound so cutting. Truthfully, he was envious. Grace could walk away. She didn’t feel an inevitable future hurtling toward her—or at least she had found a way to dodge it.
Teddy didn’t want to admit he’d spent years praying some secret trapdoor escape from his life would make itself known. He felt a sudden and fierce jealousy that Grace had found one. He had no such luxury, and his denial had come to an end.
“Is that all?” he asked flatly.
She searched his face, her expression awash with confusion and hurt. “I’ll leave you to your drink, then.”
Grace rose, floated through the bustling crowd, and disappeared along with the hopes he had for his future.
He’d been so focused on Grace that he’d tuned out the world, but now the cacophony of the room rushed back in. The bar felt suddenly too hot and crowded. The stench of ale and sweat was suffocating.
He poured himself more whiskey, splashing a good bit of it on the table in his rush for the relief of a stiff drink to wash away the last few minutes.
Alexandra poked her head out from a nearby booth. She held up a fresh bottle as she returned to her seat across from him.
“You look like you could use another bottle or two.” The joviality in her tone was so forced, but he let her fill his glass from the fresh bottle as he tried to rein in his panic.
“I’ve found there are few problems that can’t be fixed by a stiff drink and a pretty girl to flirt with,” she said, clinking her glass to his.
She was good enough to ignore the tremble in his hand.
“My world is falling apart, Alex.”
But his sister did not look at him with pity. She looked angry. “The worst thing that will happen to you is that you’ll be king,” Alexandra said. “Forgive me for not feeling bad for your tremendous fortune. You focus on the choice you can’t have instead of the many,manyyou do. You do realize that Jalen being an outstanding warrior means that I will probably be shipped off to marry some foreign prince or lord to secure alliances.”
“Our mother wouldn’t do that,” Teddy said.
