“About fucking time!” Slade said.
“Agreed.” Karma nodded and clinked her glass against Slade’s as they toasted to me.
I rolled my eyes again. “Guess the moral of the story is to always be honest with your loved ones.”
“And the dudes you’re fucking,” Karma shot back, giving Stephanie a pointed stare. “You should have told that dude how much he hurt you.”
“Why? So he could throw it back in her face that she was too emotional when it was just sex?” I said, coming to Stephanie’s defense. “No, fuck him.”
“Are you OK?” Kara asked Stephanie.
Stephanie shrugged. “I am now. Yeah, it hurt. It still hurts, but I’m over it, I guess.”
“So no calling them then, if shit pops off while digging into Lacey’s new case?” Karma asked.
Stephanie laughed and shook her head. “Nah, I need a new drink.”
“We all do,” I said and stood up. Even though the topics were bound to be heavy this weekend, I was so grateful for the staycation with my girls. My guys had known exactly what I needed—likely Nico had—and I was so happy to have this time to catch up and unwind and be pampered.
Marcos
WithMayaoutofthe house and Luke occupied with Nico, I took the morning to read my father’s journal. It was time. Johnny had hinted at it long enough.
Inside wasn’t what I was expecting, though. There were a lot of pages of abstract thoughts, like he was going for poetry but not quite. Then where would be a couple pages full of his thoughts on life and what was happening the moment. Those pages he dated at least.
One particular entry stood out a week or so before I was born.
Saw Lita this morning at the supermarket. She didn’t see me, but she was looking ready to pop. She was a beautiful woman as usual, but something about her pregnant just made her glow. Oddly enough, I ran into Carmichael today too. He was leaving the restaurant when Jen and I walked in. We didn’t speak, but I feel like the universe is trying to tell me something. I know Lita’s having the baby soon. I wonder if it’s really mine, and she lied about it to get money out of Carmichael?
There were more abstract thoughts following this entry, but after a couple pages I found another entry dated a couple years later.
I saw Lita today. She had her little boy with her in the supermarket. He must have been two or three by now. He looked so much like her, it was hard to tell who the father was. His eyes were blue, so he has to be Vince’s. I don’t think she’d lie about something like that to me. I hope she wouldn’t.
Yeah, pop. Me too. I wished my mother hadn’t lied about half the shit she had. Or I would have pushed her harder for more when I was older. By the time I was old enough to stand up to her, I didn’t really care if I found my father anymore. I had found my own family in Jason and Nico.
I ran into Lita today. Her and Marcos were at the supermarket. The boy is her spitting image, but his eyes…there was something in his eyes that made me question if he was mine. I didn’t confront her. She was pregnant and looked to be about ready to pop.
There was another entry from the same day down below some artwork.
God, the universe must really be trying to tell me something. I ran into Carmichael tonight. He had the balls to smirk at me. He told me that him and Lita were finally having their second child after all these years.
I shook my head and took a deep breath. Vince Carmichael had always been an epic asshole, that was no joke, but seeing the way he treated someone who was once his best friend just really drove home what a horrible person he was.
I kind of skimmed through the next couple pages, scanning for anything interesting. Lots of his thoughts and day-to-day happenings, but one entry caught my eye dated the summer I turned fifteen.
I saw Carmichael in Creekton today. The boys and I were doing a run and stopped off the highway to fill up and caught a glimpse of Carmichael walking out of the Devil’s Psychos MC clubhouse, of all places. I wonder what the fuck bullshit he’s up to now.
I gasped. That would have been twenty-five years ago. Buckley and Carmichael’s dealings went that far back? For fucks sake.
I turned the page quickly.
I ran into Marcos tonight. He was running with a couple punk kids, looking like they were causing all the trouble they could. I was leaving the casino, and they were loitering around outside. I don’t think he’s eighteen yet. He was scrawny, looked a little under fed. I wonder if Lita and Carmichael ended shit? I wonder how she’s doing.
I don’t remember that. Though, if Mac went into Stella’s, he wouldn’t have worn his cut. There were no colors allowed in any of the Seratelli’s establishments.
I turned the page until I found anything else.
I often wonder what life would have been like if Marcos was mine. Johnny and him are close in age, only a couple years different. I wonder how different Johnny might have turned out with a big brother to look up to and not just me and the club. Or maybe I’d have corrupted both sons, and all my pondering is for nothing. Johnny’s a good big brother to the girls, but I think he’d have liked having someone else to grow up with.
