I felt my own tears well up in my eyes and did nothing to stop them. Watching her, listening to her was all I wanted. If I cried while doing so, who cared. Maya needed to see my emotions too, I had always been too closed off with her back then. I couldn’t afford to do that this time around. “I understand why you stayed away, and I’m glad, Maya. I’m glad you protected our son.”
Again, she sobbed, and I pulled her against my chest. I held her as she let out the pain and suffering, she’d endured the last ten years—the heartbreak and stress and harassment.
“I was so scared,” she admitted.
“I know, baby. I know.” I rubbed her back.
“He’d randomly send flowers up north, to my hospital in Chicago, just to remind me that he always knew where I was and how to find me. Keep me in my place.”
Anger raged inside me. Every time she told me more of what she’d endured over the years at the hands of Hillcrest’s mind games, I wanted to bash his fucking skull in. I vowed that one day soon, I would. I would beat the holy shit out of him, then serve him up on a silver platter to Maya, so she could finish him off if she wanted.
Maya would be the one to kill Dax Hillcrest.
“I just wished I told you guys years ago.”
“We can’t do that, Mi Vida.” I shook my head. “The what-if game will eat us alive. We can only move forward.” I squeezedthe back of her neck so she would jerk back from the pressure point tickling her. I needed her eyes on me. Once she was looking up at me, those beautiful amber eyes locked on mine, I continued. “You and I have a lot to work through, but I believe in us. We can figure this out, I promise you.”
Tears slid down her cheeks as a hint of a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “How do you forgive ten years of pain, Marcos? Because IknowI hurt you. I left you… and then I didn’t tell you I had your kid, for ten fucking years. Marcos,” she gasped my name. “How can you forgive me for that? I betrayed you.”
I closed my eyes as her anguish and heartbreak hit me hard, mixing with my own. God, it fucking hurt when I first learned about Luke, that she’d had my son and never told me, but I knew the truth now. I saw the reasoning. I could understand now. “Maya,” I murmured her name, opening my eyes. “I can’t lie to you and tell you it didn’t hurt, because it did—so fucking much—but I understand now.”
Another sob tore out of her and she closed her eyes in pain. I grabbed her hands and pulled them between us, resting them on her lap as she sat upon mine. Lacing our fingers together, I squeezed her fingers tightly. Her eyes popped open. “I don’t blame you, Maya. And I need you to stop blaming yourself too.”
She shook her head, as more tears fell down her face. “I can’t do that. How can you not? After all the fucking lies, I told you—fuck! I even told you Hillcrest was Luke’s father at one point!”
Maya tried to climb off my lap, like she was going to go pace the room again, but I didn’t let her. I held her hands with one hand and wrapped my hand around the side of her throat with the other. I wasn’t going to let her walk away right when we were getting somewhere, hitting the nitty gritty of our issues. No, she would stay here in my lap and look me in my eye as we had this conversation.
“You did say that. Then you told me you were in a relationship with the man torturing you for a decade and willingly kissed him,” I reminded her none too gently.
Again, Maya sobbed and closed her eyes, unable to face me. “That one killed me,” I admitted. “All I knew at the time was that was the man who kidnapped my sister and you were choosinghimover me and Jason and Nico.”
I squeezed the side of her neck, adding just enough pressure to make her gasp and look at me. Her amber eyes were wide, despite the tears flowing down her cheeks. I wrapped my hand fully around her thin throat and squeezed just a little tighter, now that I had her attention. “I wanted to kill you,” I told her, dropping my voice to a menacing gravel. “You came back here after years of being away, then acted all aloof and standoffish the last half a year, and then I found you fucking with that scum of the earth?” I squeezed her neck just a little more, making her gasp. “But I couldn’t, because you fucking told me that I wasn’t on the birth certificate. Then you fucking said Hillcrest was the father.” I released her throat, roughly pushing her backward enough that she had to throw a hand out to catch herself.
“Marcos, I’m sorry.” She bawled through the words, choking them out.
I had to take a deep breath to calm the rage that simmer inside me. “I told my sister I was going to take custody of him if you were going to be with that bastard. I wanted to take Luke away from you, because I didn’t want him near my son.”
Maya nodded through her tears.
“Kara told me because I wasn’t on the birth certificate that I didn’t have many options. So she hooked me up with a friend of hers, to try to establish paternity.” I had to tell Maya my side of the events that happened between us. I didn’t want any more secrets, any more lies. We needed a fresh slate. In order to do that, we’d have to air all the dirty laundry.
“They served me at work,” she murmured, her voice thick with emotions.
“I know. I told them that was the best place to find you.”
She nodded, resigned. Sniffling, she reached for a tissue from the forgotten box next to us. “I understood why you did it.” Her voice was scratchy.
“I had to do what I felt was right for Luke. The thought of that monster around you was bad enough, but you made that choice—or so I thought—but the idea you were subjecting our son to him too—fuck, Maya. I lost my damn mind.” I wrapped my hands around her waist and pulled her closer. Bending my knees, I forced her weight to fall toward me.
Her hands landed on my bare chest; her hands cool against my warm skin. She watched me warily, waiting.
“I’m sorry that I tried to take Luke from you, even if it never got that far, I’m sorry that was my intention.”
“Marcos.” Maya shook her head. “Don’t—”
I shook my head cutting her off. “We’re airing our dirty laundry tonight, Maya. We’re getting it all out there.”
She sighed softly. “I don’t think we can do that in one night.”
