“I also didn’t realize you’d be here so soon,” he said, walking towards me.In his jeans, the droplets of where he’d been caught off guard and peed on himself a little. “If it was a number two, I would’ve gone to the house, trust me.”
I nodded. “I believe you, and I’m not judging. It’s one of the—benefits of having a dick, I guess, just whipping it out and going to town, right.”
He laughed, now right near me. “I don’t always, but sure, when nature calls, I’ll heed it.”
“I didn’t see anything,” I said in a moment of panic, “in case you were wondering.”
He nodded, eyeing me up and down. “Well, it’s probably nothing you haven’t seen before. So, let’s get back in there, it’s pretty cold out.”
Back inside the stables, all the horses were looking out over their stalls. Coal making the most noise out of all of them and Bramble doing her softer whinnying. It was somewhat demonic in my ears, and I tried to walk right down the center so none of them could—in my mind, crane their long necks out and snap at me with their big teeth I’d seen crunch through whole apples with ease.
“You brought coffee,” Lorenzo said, patting me on my back.
“Another gold star?” I asked.
“I haven’t even started thinking about all that, so probably not yet.”
On cue, I pulled a sheet of gold stickers from my shirt pocket. “And now you can,” I said, handing them over. “Although I think having a chart would make it easier to keep track of my progress, but I would take them wherever you want to put them—on me.”
Staring into my eyes, he pulled one of the stickers from the sheet and placed it on my cheek. “That one is for yesterday,”he said. “And this one—well, actually, you don’t get one for coffee. But if you want to go over to Coal, give him a couple head strokes and comfort him, I’ll give you another.”
Glancing at the dark shadow in the corner, aka Coal, he was still neighing and huffing for attention. I shouldn’t have woke him earlier when I was calling for Lorenzo, so it was my fault, and I did want another sticker. “Fine,” I said, “but can you pour me a coffee?”
“Isn’t the adrenaline enough?” he asked with a slight chuckle. “I’m kidding, of course, I know it is. But you brought two thermoses, so I’m guessing it’s going to be a busy day.”
I stayed quiet, trying to psych myself up. Taking deep breaths and pushing them out slowly through slightly pursed lips, I approached the horse. I knew I was being watched by the other horses and Lorenzo. I needed stickers. All of them.
Coal grew quiet as I reached out and stroked him. My heart pounding so loud in my ears that I couldn’t hear even if he had been making noise, or whatever words of encouragement Lorenzo had for me.
Almost like I blacked out, I didn’t remember much after it and found myself sitting on the bench at the back of the stables, cradling the plastic cup of coffee while Lorenzo rolled the sleeping bag up.
“Huh?” I let out.
“I was just saying, I think it’s real growth. And soon we’ll have you riding, but they still need to get their strength up before any of that,” he said.
“Oh no, I don’t think I could,” I told him. “I would need to be heavily medicated for that to happen.”
“There’s a sticker in it for you.”
I sipped the coffee, my eyes rolling with the bliss of the bitter taste on my tongue. Surprisingly, while I had a sweet tooth, I loved a bitter black coffee. Life was all about balance. “Idon’t think there’s enough stickers in the world for me to ever ride a horse.”
Lorenzo dipped to a squat in front of me. He adjusted his hat on his head and nodded at me, trying to keep my eye contact. “What if,” he began, his words, soft and raspy. “What if I called you agood boy?”
My knees buckled together in front of him. “I—”
He placed his hand on my knee. “I’m just asking, is that something that might work with the stickers?” he asked.
Stumbling over my words a moment longer, I didn’t know what to say. He’d seen me, seen me, or seen right through me, either way, I didn’t know what to say now. But if he called megood boyagain, I couldn’t be responsible for my actions.
“Would it work?” he asked, his grip flexing on my knee. And then he said it again. “Good boy.”
A slight whimper left me. It felt like game over.
Or maybe the game was just starting now… after a month of avoiding it, we were beginning again.
12. LORENZO
It didn’t take a genius, but it had taken me a while during the night to figure out just what Jace was getting at with the reward system. I’d seen it happen in certain dynamics with friends who worked on nearby ranches, and I think I called it.
