Dallin nodded.“We were.I don’t expect anything like that from you if that’s what you’re asking.I understand you’re not Kent and that you barely know me.”
Dallin had had time to wrap his mind around the fact that Sol wouldn’t have his memories when they found him.It was still weird for Sol to think of everything he’d lost, but maybe he hadn’t lost it forever.Dallin was sitting there, after all.
“I don’t know what I want,” Sol confessed.“A lot of things have happened in a very short period of time, and it’s a lot to take in.”
“Well, like I said, I don’t expect anything from you.”
Maybe not, but surely, he hoped.Sol didn’t want Dallin to think he was completely opposed to the two of them being together.He wasn’t.“I’m not saying we can never be together again,” he said so that Dallin would understand.“But I’d like to get to know you.There’s nothing I can do about the bond, but this, I can do.”
“There’s somethingIcan do about the bond if you want.”Dallin hesitated, then squared his shoulders and raised his chin.“You don’t have to be my shield if you don’t want to be.I can break our bond and find another shield.”
Sol sucked in a breath.Was that what Dallin wanted?
* * * *
DALLIN DIDN’T WANTto break their bond.In fact, he could think of nothing worse than to have to do that.If Sol told him that it was what he wanted, though, Dallin would do it.He wouldn’t force anyone to be with him, especially not Sol.
Sol wasn’t Kent, but Dallin couldn’t ignore everything he’d felt for his dragon.He still loved Kent, and he suspected that a part of him always would.He didn’t know what would happen with Sol, but he wouldn’t trap him in a bond he hadn’t chosen.
Because he hadn’t.Sol wasn’t Kent, and if he wanted out, Dallin would let him.He doubted his heart would ever heal from it, but that wouldn’t stop him.
Sol frowned.Dallin held his breath, waiting for Sol’s answer.If he said that he wanted the bond broken, Dallin would have to ask him to wait until they fought Carlyle.He wished he could do it right away so he wouldn’t have time to obsess over it, but he couldn’t risk it.If Sol insisted that he wanted out now, though, Dallin would find a way to make it work.
“Do youwantto break the bond?”Sol asked.
“That’s not what I said.”
“No, but apparently, you’re assuming that I do.”
“I’m not assuming anything.I chose the bond.You didn’t.”
“I think it’s noble of you to offer me the opportunity, considering everything I know about the bond between the mages and their dragons.I don’t want you to break it, though.”
Dallin almost slumped over with relief.Sol didn’t want to break the bond.He wasn’t going anywhere.
That still didn’t mean that he and Dallin would have the kind of relationship Dallin had with Kent.Maybe Sol was straight.Maybe he wasn’t, but Dallin wasn’t his type.Maybe he was still freaking out over everything and wouldn’t want anything to do with Dallin after their conversation.
“What do you want, then?”Dallin asked because he had to know.
“To get to know you.For you to get to know me.You’re right when you say that I’m not Kent.I don’t know you, and you don’t know me.You have memories of Kent, but I’ll never be him.”
Dallin swallowed.“I grieved him when we realized that our dragons had lost her memories and that they would never get them back.I’ve made my peace with the fact that Kent is lost.”
“It still can’t be easy to see his face on me.Is that why you didn’t visit sooner?”
“In part, but mostly, I just wanted to keep my promise to you.”It had given Dallin time to truly accept that Kent was gone.He’d known it before, but seeing Sol had still been a blow to the heart.He felt better now, stronger, and he thought he could deal with whatever Sol threw at him.
Sol nodded.“Well, thank you for that, but you don’t need to stay away from me anymore.In fact, I’d like it if you stopped.I want you to visit as often as you want.I want you to spend time with me.”
“You really don’t want to break the bond?”
“I don’t.I might not be Kent, but I figure that the person I was before isstill somewhere inside of me.I don’t have the memories and experiences Kent had, and he didn’t have mine, but I think that fundamentally, we’re the same person.If you and I worked so well together before, I can only hope that we will continue to work together now that I’m Sol.Besides, I asked Jarvis what it would entail for you to break the bond, and he made it clear that it wouldn’t be easy.”
Dallin needed to have a chat with Jarvis.It had been his place to tell Sol any of this.“That doesn’t matter,” he said gently.“If you want out of the bond, that’s what we’ll do.”
“It’s not what you want.”
“It’s not.I understand that you’re not Kent, but the bond we share is the only thing I have left of him.It’s been there for decades, and it was reassuring to feel it even after you were gone.It meant that you weren’t dead.It’ll take me a long time to find another shield and feel close enough to them to be ready to bond, if it ever happens.I would rather avoid all of that, but only if you’re sure you don’t want to break the bond.”
