The elevator chimed, doors opening to a silence we carried all the way down the hallway and into her rented room.
I took stock of the spartan furnishings—bathroom, bed, desk and chair—before drifting toward the wide windows. I stared at the boats moored in the harbor below.
“Can I get you something to drink?” I heard her offer behind me.
I turned away from the windows. “Why did you get a hotel room?”
Her shoulders lifted. “I didn’t want to assume I could stay at the apartment.”
It took effort to swallow past the lump rising in my throat. “You thought I wouldn’t let you?”
“After everything …” She wrung her hands together. “I really didn’t know.”
“You can’t get rid of me that easily,” I tried to joke.
Eva saw no humor in my words.
“I wasn’t trying to do that.” She inhaled slowly like she was bracing herself. “You were right about Kate. She told me she was still in love with me.”
A tidal wave of nausea washed over me. I never thought I’d hate hearing those words:You were right.
The pieces fell into place. The distance lately, both physical and emotional. The prolonged silence. Her not letting me know she was in town.
“And what did you say?” My voice barely worked.
Eva wet her lips. She spoke slowly. Carefully. And I prepared myself for the worst.
“I thanked her for her honesty. And then I was honest in return. I told her my heart was already spoken for.”
I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t even make a sound.
Her pretty speech normally would have had me jumping over the moon. But the gravity of the moment made me want to disclose my secrets, too.
“I need to tell you something, too,” I said, my voice unsteady.
She didn’t respond right away. She folded her arms, her gaze sharp. “Okay. What is it?”
I took a breath. “Rayah propositioned me.”
Eva’s jaw tightened. “Propositioned? What does that mean?”
“She came over not long after your surgery. She offered … uh,herself, I guess. She and her partner have an open relationship while they’re apart. She tried to convince me to do the same.”
Eva sucked in a breath like I’d struck her. “Did you kiss her? Did you—” her voice cracked, “—fuck her?”
I winced at the ugly curse word and the even uglier accusation. “No. Nothing happened. I swear.” I was emphatic. “I would never do that to you.”
Her body remained rigid. “But you still hung out with her after all that.” I watched her work the muscles in her jaw. “You still let her touch you like you were more than just friends.”
I looked away, shame curdling in my gut. “I didn’t … I didn’t see the harm, I guess.” My stomach dropped with a truer revelation. “And maybe a part of me liked the attention.”
The hotel room felt too small for what we needed to say.
“But nothing happened, Eva,” I said again. “I promise.”
She ran a hand through her hair and sharply exhaled. “I believe you—I do. But this is a lot to take in right now. You should have told me sooner.”
“I was scared,” I admitted. “Scared of hurting you.”
