I giggle. The boogeyman likes a cuddle. I run my fingers over his sides, feeling the shorter spines give way to my gentle stroking. Augustine groans and rolls his hips against the thigh I have pressed between his legs. I kiss his neck and pull back enough to stop teasing him without letting him go. I don’t want to ever stop touching him. His warmth radiates through my hand like the sun touching my skin after a cold, rainy day.
I look into his eyes and feel it again, the tickle behind my ear, and I know what it is. What that feeling is, but I can’t bring myself to say it just yet.Soon, I promise myself.
“I like this too,” I whisper. “But what about tomorrow or Monday? I have work, a life that I can’t abandon.”
“I am not asking you to do that,mon abeille. We have eternity to do as we please. It is your choice how you spend it.” He kisses my forehead, breathing me in so gently. “Just let me be a part of it.”
16
Augustine
14 days
Iwill not say that I am restless. It is ridiculous to feel this jittery after Joanna’s extended stay with me. Friday morning breakfast had blurred into a weekend of carnal desires the likes of which I have not known since the days of old. Deg’Doriel nearly threw me out of his office when he saw the look on my face when I dropped by on Sunday for our lunch. Even in her dreams, she called to me, begged for me as if I was not the reason she was asleep.
Joanna is insatiable.
If anything, I should be collapsed onto a settee in complete and utter bliss. I have found Elysium, Valhalla, Heaven on this godforsaken wasteland, and its true name is Joanna. I never want to be away from her.Mon abeille’ssoftness must always surround me. I cannot handle this separation. Even the thought that I am missing her smiles, her laughter, and her worry has me ready to throw my notebook across the room. I make a note in the margins of my book to give Joanna the number for the moving company I prefer. Her scent is already fading from my sheets, from my house, and I cannot have that.
It has been two days, one night without her, and I feel like I am losing my control even worse than before. She expressed concerns that we were doing this all backwards. Bound to me for all eternity, yet she still wishes to go about courting.I don’t want to feel like I’m missing out on any part of our love story.At the time, it seemed odd to explain that she was not prepared to leave her old life. Her words vibrate through my sands now as I think about what else she misses.
I am supposed to be listening to this vampire sob about killing a human like it matters. They are clearly too young, maybe in their early twenties, but fate has been cruel to them. Deg’Doriel reminds them that mistakes happen, but that if they do not harden the fuck up he will make sure there are not any others. Our group is about second chances, after all, not third, fourth, or fifth ones. Controlling oneself and one’s baser instincts is all a part of the struggle, along with planning and scheduling when you intend to take a human or fifteen completely.
My baser instincts are screeching at me to go to my mate, to abandon the plan and just run to her. I take a deep breath to steady my emotions. There is hunger wafting off nearly everyone here except Arlo. I suppose his snack two weeks ago has kept him sated for now. Another note in the margins for this meeting. That ghoul needs to find permanent residency in the city. Deg’Doriel has expressed an acceptance of his usefulness, so it is best to get him settled somewhere low-risk where we can manage him.
Orthia still has not returned since she stormed out. There have not been any reports of out-of-season storms or ships washing up to shore, but who is to say she has not begun causing problems down the coast again. The ship she uses as a facade is still moored at the northmost point of the Docklands, the crowds of tourists growing more prominent the closer to summer we get. As much as Her Love has been feeding on the sacrifices we allow her every year, they will also be feeding off her energy in some way. I am sure of it.
And she, they, were livid when they were last seen here.
“If you’re around the docks or beaches and you see anything more unusual than normal, give me or Ramón a shout.” Deg’Doriel yawns and flashes his sharp canines at the room. “Otherwise, get the fuck out of here.”
Like last week, only a few trusted members of our group stay behind. The lessers are as quick to leave as they are to arrive. None of them are keen to linger and hear chats about diplomacy or risk being removed from the group. Everyone except Arlo, who stares at his shoes, turns to me once the room is clear.
“Like a bunch of nattering old bitches,” Deg’Doriel grumbles, his tail flicking in agitation. “Nicolette spilled all the saucy details.”
“Auggie,” Ramón starts, and my disdainful look at him does nothing to dissuade him from continuing. “You fucking player.”
“Maybe I should start going to the library to meet humans,” Nora smirks at me.
“Do not.” I frown. That is the last thing I need. These idiots in my domain, in my library, making an absolute mockery of everything it stands for just to meet a human. Absolutely not. “Besides, my mate will be here shortly to meet you all officially.”
This was not my idea. While enjoying a selection of fruits and cheeses on Saturday afternoon, Joanna asked about my friends. I was quick to point out that the creatures here are my colleagues, aside from Deg’Doriel and Kragnash, but she insisted on calling them friends. And of course, since they are my friends she must meet them.
Joanna wants to be involved in all aspects of my life. She wants to continue courting despite the bond. My mate tugs at a romantic side of myself I have not truly explored before. I had played the flirt for a time, when Jamie was in my life. He enjoyed the coy gestures and the hazy opium dens as much as any well-off merchant’s son would during that time. He was easy prey, and I underestimated my hunger and the drugs flowing through him. But like the smog that covered London then, my thoughts were clouded by his ruby-red aura.
But even the short stint in his dreams and the much shorter time we were half bonded, I never felt the drag to him the way I do my Joanna. She wants me, wholly as I am, and that touches something inside me I have never considered before because I do not have one. My heart.
There is an interesting reaction among the group. Arlo’s pallid cheeks flush red, Ramón and Nora both grip each other’s hands like schoolgirls, and Deg’Doriel looks downright furious.
“Augustine, you know-”
My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I pick it out of my jacket. Only one person would be calling at this hour. Joanna’s name flashes on the screen and I answer.
“Mon abeille, are you here?”
“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I can’t. Work has been more full-on than I expected it to be. I’m sorry. Lance told me yesterday things had been fine while I was away, but every time I look up from my computer, there are like ten new problems.” She rambles on, something about hiring processes and budgets not adding up, but it does not really matter.
Joanna is still at work at ten o’clock on a Tuesday night. That is abhorrent. The sands under my skin ripples and my eyes change in a blink. Protective, instinctual urges rise up in me. Providing for her, taking care of her, making sure she is safe is all I can think of doing, but how do I keep her safe from herself?
