“All in favour, say aye.”
Everyone but Deg’Doriel and Arlo vote in favour.
“I-I-I- don’t feel comfortable votin’. I ain’t here for politics.” The ghoul shakes his head, eyes flicking to the door, to his phone, to his lap again.
I have to bite my knuckle to stop from cackling again like a madman.
“That is four to one then, Deg’Doriel. So unless you have somesubstantial reasonyou’d like to share as to why we shouldn’t, the motion passes.”
Kragnash stares down the demon, his mouth set in a firm line. I can see Deg’s mind working, desperately trying to come up with a logical reason why we should not. The excuse must be on the tip of his tongue. His emotions are a riot of spicy burnt flavours that makes my stomach shrivel up. Whatever he wants to say, he keeps to himself.
“This does not mean you can broadcast this information to every beast or creature in Gwenmore. I refuse to be responsible for humans dying because some fucking troll or lich decided to fuck them.”
Something in Deg’Doriel’s emotions shifts. The spiciness turns sour and curdles on my tongue. He is lying. For whatever reason, he is lying to us about why he does not want us to mingle with the mortals. I check my watch. It is later than I would like it to be. I know Joanna will have already arrived at the library. My human is waiting for me.
I am at odds with what to do. I will not press Deg’Doriel in front of the others. Whatever secret he is hiding, I will find out, but I cannot leave my mate. I watch as the others leave, Kragnash and Ramón chatting jovially about the one-armed man, while Nora slips Arlo some money. I make a mental note to look into what services the library has to offer to make sure Arlo doesn’t become a danger. He is useful, but beyond that he deserves better. We have all been in his position at some point during our existence.
Deg’Doriel’s sigh sounds more like a growl as he walks over to the small refreshment table. I watch him pour the burnt coffee into a mug and top it up with a flask from his jacket pocket. He sits back down in his chair and unclips his white collar.
“Do you want to tell me the truth?” I ask.
“No,” he grunts, rubbing his hand across his face. “Just know that when the time comes, we are going to have to make some tough choices.”
I hum softly for a moment, contemplating what he could mean by this. Life is nothing but choices, and I have spent a good long time taking the safer and more boring of them. Perhaps a few hard decisions would liven up all of our existences some.
“Whatever the future holds for us, Deg’Doriel, know I will be at your side. You are my friend. My bond with Joanna will not change that. I think you would like her quite a bit.”
“You barely know her.”
“Yet, I know with all my being, that she is meant to be mine and will add a new sense of purpose to my life that I was missing.”
My friend sighs, taking a long drink from his coffee. “You are disgustingly in love, and I hate it.”
“Do you? Or do you simply hate that it is not you?”
I stand up, placing my empty mug on the table. My sands pulse with need and hunger formon abeille, but I am not sure I can leave my friend just yet. The worry he is feeling sets my teeth on edge. We have been friends for centuries, since the fall of the Medici Bank, and yet I have never seen him like this before.
“On Friday, let’s have supper,” I say. “I will pay.”
He snorts, “If you can’t pull yourself from your human, bring her too. Since she will become a permanent fixture.”
“No.” It’s dual reasoning. I do not want my Joanna to leave my bed after Thursday, but I also do not wish Deg’Doriel to believe that mating with humans means they will become everyone’s whole existence.
We will always be the monsters that lurk in the night, first and foremost.
13
Joanna
Iam going stir-crazy. Or maybe just regular crazy.
I can remember exactly when I last had time off work. It was when I spent the week at the seaside. That was three years ago. Since then, I have spent every day, including weekends and holidays, trying to stay on top of work. I haven’t taken a sick day or a day of leave for anything. My life has revolved around my job because I am not sure who I would be without it.
Now, I am not sure who I am.
After spending Wednesday afternoon curled up on Augustine’s lap, allowing him to direct me, to move me, I know I’m not scared of being his. Even when we both remained clothed, he proved he would possess me just like he said, just like I wanted. He doesn’t scare me. Seeing the monster that lurks under beds and hides in the dark corners of my dreams made me alive. Finding out there are other beings existing on Earth is radical and freeing more than terrifying. It opens up a whole new world of chances that I can take. And having Augustine as my hot professor just makes it better.
I spent Thursday thinking and writing and processing some more. I had made the decision that living is certainly what I want. After everything that happened that night, I know it wasn’t some freak incident. Someone is sending me a message, but I have no idea why. Early in the mornings, when I return from my late-night rendezvous at the library, I feel like someone is watching me. There’s a tension in my neck I have never felt before and it makes me move faster until my feet are pounding up the stairs to my door and I’m sweating.
