‘What?’ I ask, getting the feeling he’s keeping something from me.
‘Well, if it’s not a test, and you really do want to call it off, then I can only assume it’s because of that lanky lord I saw you drooling over.’
‘He’s an earl,’ I point out.
‘Oooh,’ he teases. ‘Someone sounds exactly like the rest of their family.’
I know he’s joking but that prods at a soft spot.
‘And I notice you’re not denying that you were drooling over him,’ he adds.
‘Well, we’re just friends, so I’m free to drool as I please,’ I remind him.
‘You are, that’s true,’ he tells me. ‘But I was brought here to be your boyfriend, and everyone thinks I am your boyfriend, so I can’t let you make me look bad, can I?’
I laugh.
‘You can say and do what you want,’ I tell him. ‘I’ll just make out like you’re like Steve – a desperate ex, deluded in thinking we’re still together.’
‘But you brought me here,’ he reminds me.
The tone between us is wildly flirtatious, given the conversation we’re having.
‘Yeah, but it’s like, when you know the dog needs putting down, and you love it so you give it an absolute dream few days, to say goodbye. I’ll just tell everyone I’m doing that.’
‘You’ll tell everyone you love me?’ he replies, selecting the part of the sentence he knows will bug me. ‘Interesting.’
‘Ethan, the plan has changed, and you’re right, I fancy the earl, so I’m going to see what happens there,’ I tell him firmly.
Telling him this can only help, right? Because if he thinks I’m completely uninterested in him, and that I’m all in on someone else, then he won’t do anything that tempts me back over to the dark side… right?
Ethan rolls onto his side, so that he’s facing me – sort of like that thing they make boxers do before a fight where it looks like they’re going to kiss.
‘In that case I am going to “toff block” you at every opportunity I can,’ he replies with a smile. ‘I’m doing the job I came here to do.’
I should have known, really, that if you shop for crazy, you buy crazy. Ethan is here and he’s doing exactly what the plan was, in a way that is better than I could have imagined… but the plan has changed so, if Ethan wants to play dirty, that’s what we’ll do. And we’ll all ignore just how oddly hot this all is.
29
They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day. In this house, it’s a little too important.
‘You’re saying I can have anything?’ Ethan checks with the member of the housekeeping staff who is taking our breakfast orders.
We’re all sitting around the dining table – all of the key players in the wedding – and first things first, breakfast is being ordered.
‘Yes,’ the young woman replies.
‘So, if I said I wanted lobster bisque…’
‘Then I would get it for you,’ she confirms – of course, you can see in her eyes that she thinks he’s an arsehole.
‘Holy shit, that’s wild,’ he replies. ‘I’ll just have a bagel, with scrambled eggs, but wow.’
You can see a small puff of relief come out as the young woman exhales.
See, if the plan were still the plan, then Ethan really would be doing an incredible job. He’s being kind of uncouth, and ridiculous, but he still knows who the enemy is.
‘Lobster bisque for breakfast – a man after my own heart,’ Chester tells him. ‘Beau, do you remember that morning, while we were still celebrating Maximus’s stag, and we dared you to drink French onion soup from Digby’s brogue?’
