She sighed, then headed for the kitchen. After the loss of her parents, she’d been surprised to find out that she was something of a caretaker. She enjoyed giving to people. If money and space weren’t an issue, not to mention her long workdays, she would fill her place with homeless dogs and cats. Even now, when she should want to rip out Mark’s heart, she couldn’t help fixing hot chocolate and piling cookies on a plate.
She returned to the living room and set the tray on the sofa next to him, then grabbed a mug for herself and retreated to a chair across the room.
“Start talking,” she said, hoping she sounded furious. Unfortunately, her rage and indignation seemed to have faded some, leaving her feeling only empty and sad.
Twenty-four hours ago, she would have been dying to tell him about her new contract at the Hip Hop. Of course, then he hadn’t known about Dirk, so he wouldn’t have understood why it was so important for her to earn money. Now he knew about Dirk, but they weren’t friends anymore.
Her chest tightened at the thought. Not friends. Funny how in just a few weeks Mark had become an important part of her life. Initially she’d had a crush on him but, as she’d gotten to know him, she’d found herself liking him for the man he was, not just who she imagined him to be.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “For thinking badly of you. When I knew you had a secret in your life, I assumed the worst.”
She glared at him over her mug. “You could have asked.”
“Agreed.” He took a sip of the hot chocolate. “Thank you for telling me about your brother. I wish it had happened under other circumstances.”
She shifted her gaze to stare at the wall behind him. “I stopped telling people a long time ago. I got tired of being disappointed by people I liked.”
“I don’t think I would have disappointed you about that.”
She wanted to believe that was true but had her doubts. “Maybe not, but you disappointed me about other things.”
“I know. Looking back, I don’t understand how I could have thought those things about you. You’re a good person, one of the best people I know.”
She returned her attention to him, trying not to notice how green his eyes looked in the lamplight or how the shape of his mouth made her remember how good it had been between them.
“You’re stalling,” she said. “Do you actually have something to tell me, or was this all a smoke screen?”
He drew in a deep breath. “You’re right. I don’t want to tell you this, because it’s going to change the way you think about me.”
“It’s not going to get worse than how it is now.”
“I hope you’re right.”
For the first time since inviting him inside, Darcy felt a shiver of apprehension. While she didn’t doubt Mark thought he had a great reason for thinking so badly of her, she didn’t expect to be impressed. But now, looking at the haunted expression in his eyes, she began to wonder.
“After college I left here for New York,” he said. “I was accepted into the New York police department. My goal had always been to make detective. When I was sixteen and still in high school, I worked part-time for old Scott Riley who ran a sleazy little detective agency here in town. The work was mostly finding out if a spouse was having an affair, but occasionally there was a great case.”
“And this is interesting how?” Darcy asked with more temper than she felt. She didn’t want to get sucked into Mark’s past. What did it have to do with her?
“I’m getting to the point,” he said. “But it’s going to take me a minute.”
She rose and crossed to the sofa, where she grabbed two cookies before returning to her chair. She nibbled on the first one. Maybe the sugar would take the edge off, she thought.
“My career skyrocketed right away,” he continued. “I worked long hours, but I loved it. I got involved in a couple of high-profile crimes and worked with some great detectives. I learned a lot and when the time came, they put in a good word for me. So there I was, in New York, living my dream. The only down side was my personal life.”
Darcy forced herself to swallow her mouthful of cookies, but she suddenly felt sick inside. “I don’t think I want to hear this.”
“Sorry, but it’s the only story I know.” He shifted on the sofa. “I dated a lot, but I never felt anything. I mean I liked some of them fine, but there wasn’t any spark.”
Darcy suddenly found it difficult to look at the sofa where she and Mark had about set each other on fire.
“I wanted to get married,” he said. “I wanted kids, a family, but it wasn’t happening. By the time I’d been a detective for two years, I was starting to have second thoughts about my career choice. I saw a side to people I didn’t like. Once I got transferred to homicide, I figured there wasn’t any humanity left in the world. I know it sounds stupid, but I thought I could feel my soul drying up. One day it was going to shrivel up and blow away. And then I met Sylvia.”
Darcy froze. She shouldn’t have been surprised, she told herself. She’d known from the minute Mark had mentioned the woman’s death that she’d been important to him. She put down the remaining cookie and her hot chocolate. Her stomach felt queasy.
“We lived next door to each other,” he said, not looking at her, as he proceeded to tell her about meeting the woman he’d wanted to marry.
Darcy listened, though every word was torture. Her face burned and her mouth went dry. She’d been right before—she didn’t want to hear this story. But she also couldn’t bring herself to stop him. Maybe it was like driving by an accident. She didn’t want to look but she couldn’t help herself.
