She looked at the clock and realised his mother would be here soon. She dreaded seeing the hearse. Not sure how she’d react, this was the first funeral she’d attended since burying Tom. For a moment, she allowed herself to recall the long slow procession as she, her family, and friends made their way to the church – the hardest journey she’d made in her entire life and here she was, about to do it again. The tears that flowed at having to say goodbye and the many kind and heartfelt eulogies spoken that day were unforgettable. And she remembered how she silently pleaded that she, too, could die as her husband’s coffin was carried to its final resting place. Even more so when it was gently lowered into theground.
She looked up to the heavens, in a bid to ask for help. ‘If you can hear me, Tom,’ she said. ‘I could really do with some supportrightnow.’
Annabel realised that she had tears in her eyes and wiped them away. She told herself she couldn’t dwell. Today wasn’t the day to be thinking about herself or what she had been through. Today was about being thereforDan.
The doorbell rang and suddenly diverted her attention. Not sure what to do, she glanced out into the garden again and wondered if she should call Dan inside. After deciding to leave him a little while longer, she took one deep breath after another, in an attempt to get herself together. If the coffin had arrived, she needed be incontrol.
Annabel headed out into the hall, it felt strange to be taking charge in someone else’s home. But just like his mum, she wanted to take care of as many details as possible so that Dan didn’t have to. Deep down though, she knew his mother would approve. Annabel might not have known the woman for very long, however, they’d still managed to grow close thanks to their joint love for Dan. She thought about those last days, at how she witnessed the precious bond between mother and son. Such a sad experience, yet at the same time so beautiful and Annabel felt both honoured, and privileged, to have beenincluded.
She took one last deep breath, ready to greet the funeral director and, after fixing a smile on her face, she opened the door. Annabel suddenly felt her whole body relax, relieved to see Katy and Rebecca standing there instead. ‘Thank goodness,’ she said. ‘I was expecting you to be the Men inBlack.’
More than pleased to see them, she couldn’t help but wonder if Tom had had a hand in this. Despite having expected to meet her friend and sister at the church, she realised that she should have known they would turn up. After all, they both had form for stepping in whenneeded.
Grateful for the support, she gave them each an appreciative hug. ‘Thanks for coming,’shesaid.
‘How is he?’ askedRebecca.
‘And how are you bearing up?’askedKaty.
Annabel stood aside to let them in. ‘I’ve had a couple of wobbly moments and I’m sure he has too. But I think we’re both doing okayconsidering.’
They both returned her gaze, their sympathyevident.
‘Well you concentrate on making sure Dan’s alright,’ said Rebecca. ‘And we’ll do what we can when it comes totherest.’
After leading them through to the kitchen, Annabel gave Dan a wave through the window, letting him know they had visitors. She smiled affectionately, as he signaled his acknowledgement, telling her he would be inshortly.
‘Tea? Coffee?’ asked Annabel, heading for thekettle.
‘Tea for me,’ said Rebecca. She dumped her handbag and jacket next to a chair. ‘By the way, this looksverynice.’
Glad of the approval, Annabel watched on as her sister inspected the food that she’d already prepared for the after-service get together. ‘I thought it better to get as much done as I could beforehand,’ she said. ‘I can make the sandwiches once wegetback.’
‘Don’t worry,’ said Rebecca. ‘I can get onwiththat.’
‘And what about wine and beer?’ asked Katy. After opening the fridge, she began counting the bottles and tins. ‘Do you need me to go to the off-licence?’
Annabel rolled her eyes and laughed.Trusther.
‘What?’ asked her friend. ‘Everyone knows a wake isn’t a wake withoutalcohol.’
The back door opened and Dan made his entrance. Annabel watched him immediately look at the clock; like her, no doubt counting down the minutes until his mother’s arrival. He turned his attention to Katy and Rebecca, he didn’t just have a sadness about him, Annabel could sense an air of agitation. For some reason, he appeared unnerved by her sister and friend’s presence and she could tell from their expressions that this wasn’t her imagination, the two of them had clearly noticed Dan’sawkwardnesstoo.
‘They’re here just to make sure we’re okay,’ said Annabel, however, no sooner had she spoken and she could have kicked herself. While attempting to alleviate his discomfort, even she knew how feeble her statement sounded. Of course, they weren’t okay. They were about to bury hismother.
‘Could you excuse me a minute?’hesaid.
Dan quickly left the room and, hearing his footsteps on the stairs, Annabel began to feel at a loss. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘He isn’t reallybeingrude.’
‘Of course, he’s not,’ saidRebecca.
‘Don’t worry about it,’ said Katy. ‘We all know how difficult this is. For the bothofyou.’
Annabel took a seat at the table; she felt her eyes getting watery again. ‘Sometimes I don’t know what to do or say forthebest.’
Rebecca reached down and wrapped an arm around Annabel’s shoulders. ‘There’s nothing you can say or do,’ she said. ‘But he will get through this.You’llsee.’
Footsteps sounded once more and, as Dan began making his descent, Annabel tried to compose herself and attempted another smile as he re-enteredtheroom.
