‘And anyway,’ she said. ‘Missy and I could do with your help in sorting out this Maevebusiness.’
Dan despaired. Did this woman evergiveup?
‘Mum,’ he said. ‘How many times do I have to tell you? I’m really notinterested.’
‘But how do you know when you’ve never evenmether?’
He’d have been better off talking tothewall.
‘Look,’ she carried on. ‘I know you think that what you do, and who you do it with, is none of my business, I just worryaboutyou.’
Dan scoffed. ‘You want grandchildren,youmean.’
‘What woman my age doesn’t?’ she replied. ‘But that’s not what I’m talking about. I mean, who else is going to look after you when I’m gone? How will you manage onyourown?’
Dan let out a laugh. As far as he was concerned, the chance to even try and look after himself would be cause forcelebration.
His train of thought all at once made him feel guilty. He didn’t wish any harm on his mother, let alone want her gone. He, of all people, knew it was simply her way. She could just be a bit full on at times. Although much to his annoyance, her interest in his love life did seem to be getting worse. Thinking about it, he was sure none of his mates had to put up with this from their mothers. Then again, most of them had siblings. Brothers and Sisters probably prevented them from being their parents’ one, and only,focus.
‘What’re you talking about, when you’re gone?’ he said. ‘You’ll probably outlive all of us.’ Despite not being superstitious, Dan made sure to touch the wooden kitchen cupboard, justincase.
‘Which is exactly what I used to say to yourfather.’
Dan instantly stopped what he was doing and turned to look at his mother. The woman might be prone to a lot of things, but morbidity had never been one of them. ‘Are you sure everything’s okay?’ heasked.
She gave him a reassuring smile. ‘Of course Iam.Why?’
‘No, reason,’ he said, even though he didn’t quitebelieveher.
‘Anyone would think there’s something wrong with me for wanting to see you settled,’ she said. ‘Happy with that specialsomeone.’
Dan automatically laughed. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. ‘You could’ve fooled me,’ he replied. His thoughts turned to his mother’s past behaviour; even she had to see the contradiction here,surely?
She lifted the spoon again and put it to her lips, leaving Dan with no choice but to admire her bravery. His stomach turned again and needing to divert his attention, he resumed makingthetea.
‘Remember the first time I brought a girl home?’hesaid.
‘How can I forget?’ his mum replied, getting back to her stirring. ‘She haddarkhair.’
‘And?’
‘And nothing. I expected a blonde,that’sall.’
Even now, Dan could hear the disappointment in her voice. The poor girl couldn’t have gotten a worse reception had she had four legs andatail.
‘Like you used to be, you mean?’hesaid.
‘Intelligent blondes are hard to come by. Believe you me, we’re a rarespecies.’
Dan shook his head, knowing full well that his mum actually believed this. ‘So why the dislike for Lisa then?’ he asked. ‘She wasblonde.’
‘Thanks to a bottle,’ his mum corrected. ‘Hardly the samething.’
‘Then therewasCara.’
‘Tattoo girl! Don’tremindme.’
She’d always given his girlfriends nicknames and none of them very complimentary. In fact, her approach to his relationships had been so infuriating over the years, Dan had long come to the conclusion that she simply couldn’t helpherself.
