‘Did I? I don’tremember.’
Annabel knew she was lying. With a memory like an elephant, she no doubt remembered every single word that had come out of both their mouths. The situation made her feel sad. Rebecca had had something that needed sharing on her mind for a while, yet remained intent on keeping it to herself. Not only that, she also looked tired; like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. Usually preferring the Dunkirk Spirit approach to life, it was an image Annabel wasn’t used to. She wished that, for once, her sister would let her in. ‘You do know I’m here for you, don’t you?’ she said. ‘That whatever’s going on you can talk to meaboutit?’
Rebecca put on one of those annoying, brave smiles of hers. ‘I’ve told you,’ she replied. ‘There’s nothingtotell.’
With their conversation over before it had begun, Annabel gave up. ‘Whatever you say,’ she said, rising from the table. ‘Just remember, I’m here when you’reready.’
Disheartened, she put one of the lasagnes in the microwave, pressed a couple of buttons, and clicked start. Watching the plate go round and round, the timer beeped with every passing second. The countdown had begun in readiness for yet another argument. After all, if Rebecca wasn’t here to talk about her own problems, it could only be because she wanted to address what she saw asAnnabel’s.
‘I’m pregnant!’ her sistersuddenlysaid.
Annabel froze. She needed a second to absorb what she’d just heard; she tried and failed to respond. Out of all the statements that could have left her sisters lips that was the last thing she’d expected to hear. Considering the irony of the situation, she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Annabel thought back to the morning’s bathroom visit, she told herself that Rebecca couldn’t be having a baby. That just wouldn’t be fair. And, knowing full well what her sister could be like, she found herself silently asking why now? Why would Rebecca and Gavin choose now to get pregnant? She hoped to God it had nothing to do with her own pregnancyplans.
‘Really,’ she finally said. Not sure what else she could say, it was her turn to put on a brave face. She turned. ‘I didn’t know you were eventrying.’
‘That’s the thing,’ said Rebecca. ‘Weweren’t.’
Annabel told herself at least that was something; there’d been no competition to get in there first. However, despite doing her best not to show it, her sister’s admission still stung. It seemed that Rebecca only had to blink and she got pregnant. Annabel, on the other hand, had spent weeks tracking her menstrual cycle, learning all about the follicular and luteal phases in readiness of finding a donor. Then there were the hours, upon hours, she’d spent lying on her back, legs and bum in the air once her donor had come along to do the business. And she still had nothing to showforit.
‘But you being pregnant is a good thing, right?’ sheasked.
Annabel ignored the fact that life could be cruel sometimes and tried to sound positive. Unlike Rebecca, she noted, who refused to playalong.
‘Is it?’ she simplyreplied.
Her sister’s tone sounded flat and emotionless, making it hard for Annabel to tell what she was getting at. Was she being sarcastic? Expecting Annabel to be so upset she’d create a scene? Or was she simply playing the news down because she thought that was the right thing to do? After all, Rebecca had to know how much this would hurt. She searched her sister’s face for a clue, but even that failed to give anything away. One thing was clear though, tonight’s announcement certainly didn’t compare to those of her other three pregnancies. With each of them Rebecca had been overflowing with joy. Then again, realised Annabel, on those occasions, sohadshe.
Annabel felt ashamed. She told herself this baby deserved better, that, regardless of their differences, her sister deserved better. Annabel put her personal woes to one side and insisted Rebecca’s family planning issues had nothing to do with her own. As hard as it felt right now, she knew that she should celebrate this pregnancy; particularly when she expected others to celebrate hers when thetimecame.
‘Well you’ve always said you wanted a big family,’ said Annabel, re-taking her seat at the table. ‘You’re just having baby number four a bit sooner than we all thought,that’sall.’
Much to her surprise, Rebecca’s bottom lip began to quiver, leaving Annabel feeling guiltier than she already did. Not that she fully understood why. Given the nature of Rebecca’s news, a part of her still thought any consoling should be the other wayround.
‘Please don’t get upset on my behalf,’ she said, tentatively reaching out with a comforting hand. ‘It’ll happen for me too. I just have to be patient.’ Unfortunately, her understanding on the matter seemed to fail in its desired outcome. If anything, rather than feel reassured by it, her sister appeared confused.Okay, thought Annabel, now forced to acknowledge any tears weren’t for her benefit. Something she supposed she could live with, even if she shouldn’t have to. As long as the woman pulled herself together, that is, and told her what the hell wasgoingon.
She watched her sister throw her arms, and then her head, down on the table. ‘What am I going to do?’ shecried.
Hormonal or not, Annabel had never seen her like this. As for the question, she couldn’t believe what she washearing.
‘What do you mean, what’re you going to do?’ sheasked.
Annabel thought back to previous discussions, she couldn’t seriously be thinking about an abortion? From where Annabel stood, having four children couldn’t be much different to having three. Besides, this baby had two parents not one. Surely the next move was a decision mum and dad should be making, not mum and mum’ssister.
‘What does Gavin think you should do?’ sheasked.
Rebecca suddenly looked up. ‘I don’t know. I haven’ttoldhim.’
Annabel stared at the woman before her. ‘You haven’t told him?’ sheasked.
Rebecca slowly shookherhead.
‘Whynot?’
An unwanted thought suddenly began to form in Annabel’s mind; a thought that would certainly explain her sister’s unusual behaviour. ‘Tell me to mind my own business if you want to, but he is the father,isn’the?’
‘Of course he’s the father,’ Rebecca replied. ‘How could you thinkhe’snot?’
By now, Annabel didn’t have a clue what tothink.
