‘Don’t worry. I’m not planning on replacing your Dad. We both know it’s a bit late for that. Call it killing two birds with one stone.’ She chuckled, as she stuffed the pen and paper away again. ‘After all, this isn’t just about me, is it? We still have your future to think about, remember, and what better place tostart?’
He had secretly hoped that his mother would forget all about his promise to find a wife, but realised he’d only been kidding himself. She was never going to let up. As for her actual involvement, if she could do this, he dreaded to think what other delights his mother had instore.
‘Now come on, let’s get in there,’shesaid.
Dan reluctantly switched off the ignition and watched her get out of the car. He was more than happy to support her with her dying deeds, but surely she didn’t really think he’d find his soul mate here of all places? She tapped on the window, excitedly urging him to get a move on. His shoulders slumped. Of course she did. In fact, it wouldn’t have surprised him if this had nothing to do with her Bucket List at all, if her contribution to the evening was just a façade. She continued motioning for him to hurry up and he couldn’t help but let out a hefty sigh. It was no use. He knew when he wasbeaten.
‘Now let me have a look at you,’ she said, as he climbed out of thevehicle.
She immediately began straightening his tie and stepping back to behold him in all his suited and booted glory, Dan felt like it was his first day at school all over again. Half expecting her to check behind his ears and make sure he’d brushed his teeth properly, experience told him he had no choice but to stand there until she was happy. Pride seemed to ooze out of his mother as she looked at him and he realised he couldn’t begrudge her this moment. As his heart began to melt, nor could he begrudge it for himself. Thanks to her illness, this was one of the few mother and son moments theyhadleft.
Inspection over, she gave him a satisfied smile. ‘They’re going to love you as much as I do,’shesaid.
‘You think?’repliedDan.
Less than convinced, he looked up at the building once more, wondering what kind of people were in there, if any at all. Speed dating might have been the in thing once of a day, but to him, it now just seemedoldhat.
He followed his mum inside and was pleasantly surprised by the smart interior. An ornately carved wooden bar spanned the whole length of the room; stylised framed posters of guitars, Che Guevara, and other iconic images hung in neat groupings against Olive green walls. Giant chandeliers also glistened across the ceiling. Everything in the room fit together perfectly. Dan would have loved to have had a proper look around, but within seconds it seemed that he and his mum had attractedattention.
A woman with a clipboard raced over to greet them. Assuming her to be the event organiser, she obviously ran a tight ship. As far as Dan was concerned, even her smile lookedefficient.
‘Thank goodness,’ she said. ‘As you can see we’re ready to get started.’ She checked her watch. ‘A couple more minutes and you’d havemissedout.’
‘Really,’ said Dan. Disappointed, he made a note to drive a little slower the next time his mother suggested aneveningout.
He looked over at the hopeful participants and he was surprised to find how popular these events still were. Each one of them appeared to be as keen as the next to get proceedings underway; an eagerness that he could see also encompassed his mother. He took in the range of men she’d be chatting to, most of them geeks by the looks of things and the majority way too young. He just hoped there wasn’t some stalking, serial killer sitting amongst them too. What with everything else they had to contend with at themoment.
‘Now here’s your name tag,’ said the organiser. ‘It is Dan, isn’t it? I simply ask because that’s the only guy’s name I have left. We don’t do walk-ins, you see. Registration only, I’mafraid.’
Tempted to seize the opportunity and deny his identity, a knowing flash in his mother’s eyes warned him not to. Forced to appear keener than he felt, he found himself nodding. ‘Yes, Dan,’ he said. ‘That’sme.’
‘Lovely. Now here’s your sheet.’ The organiser offered him an A4 piece of paper and a pen. ‘Just to explain, your first date starts at the first whistle. After five minutes, you’ll hear the whistle again and that’s when you move on to your next date. It really is as simple as that. Just put a tick next to the names of all the ladies you’d like to meet up with again and only if there are any matches will we pass on your contactdetails.’
‘If you could take that seat over there, please.’ She indicated to an empty chair at the end table. ‘And I’ll show this lovely lady to her seat overthere.’
His mum leaned into him. ‘Let the fun commence,’shesaid.
She gave a little wink before sashaying off into the distance and, unable to help himself, Dan shook his head. How could she do this to herself, letalonehim?
He headed over to his table and the first of his dates. A petite blonde with a friendly smile, she looked pleasant enough, although he didn’t have a clue what he was supposed to saytoher.
She got up from her seat, ready to shake his hand. ‘I’m Sally,’shesaid.
‘Dan,’ he replied, accepting thegesture.
* * *
When the organisersignalled half time, Dan had never felt so relieved. The shrill of a long, drawn out whistle had never sounded so good. To say these mini dates were supposed to be a sharing of information, he’d certainly struggled to get a word in. On the plus side, however, he supposed he now knew about the need to grow his own veg, where to go for the most stylish of haircuts, and that as soon as he gets the chance he should visit the Big Apple.Because NYC is definitely the best city on theplanet.
‘That was quick,’ said the woman before him. ‘They say time flies when you’re having fun,don’tthey?’
As she looked at her watch, Dan wondered what she was referring to. The evening so far? Or the last five minutes with him? Either way, he couldn’t bring himself to agree. In his view, this event nowhere near lived up to its name on the speedfront.
‘Time for a drink, I think,’shesaid.
Her statement contained the hint of an invitation, but Dan chose to decline. ‘You go ahead,’ he said, preferring to wait for his mum. His lack of action seemed to confuse the woman, as if he should feel grateful for the extra few minutes in her company. But he pretended he hadn’t noticed and, after an uncomfortably long pause, she finally got up from her seat, gathered up her belongings, and went onherway.
He looked down at his sheet of names. Yes, one or two of them had been interesting, but not enough to warrant a tick. As for another one or two, if he ever happened to see them in the street he wouldn’t just cross the road, he’d cross the country. The things some people shared. As far as Dan was concerned, a couple of these women didn’t need a partner, theyneededhelp.
