Lost for words, unfortunately Annabel couldseeit.
‘Don’t worry. You won’t have to pretend we’re in some sort of relationship. And telling her about the pregnancy would be a last resort. I just don’t want her to go thinking she’s deserting me. That she’s leaving me completely onmyown.’
Annabel still couldn’t bring herself to speak. Yes, she fully understood his concerns. The prospect of leaving her son with more or less no one in the world must be devastating for his mother and she could appreciate why Dan would want to protect her from that. But his pleas didn’t stop her wanting to run for thehills.
She looked into hisdesperateeyes.
‘Annabel?’ he said, clearly expecting ananswer.
‘Okay,’ she found herselfsaying.
8
Standingat the sink in her finery, hands submerged in the washing up, Annabel giggled. She felt a bit silly being all dressed up with nowhere to go. At the same time, she had to admit Dan’s mother was right. Having not stopped tittering since getting changed, looking good did go some way to making a woman feel good.Breaking into fits of giggles probably wasn’t quite what his mum had in mind though, thought Annabel, laughing at herself regardless. And ignoring the splashes of water landing on her dress, she considered asking Dan whether there were any more tips in theoffering.
‘As long as he doesn’t think the glitzy attire is for his benefit,’ she said. Then again, with everything else he had going on at the moment, Annabel doubted he’d evennotice.
She thought about their recent exchanges. Apart from a few cursory words about work and the weather, it wasn’t as if they’d had any real conversation since that day in the shop. She always made a point of enquiring after his mum, of course, to which he continuously gave some standard reply. She was doing okay. A response that Annabel deemed strange in light of the emotional honesty he’d previously shown. Maybe he felt embarrassed at breaking down in front of her. Or, he could be burying his head in the sand, telling himself if he didn’t talk about it, his mother’s illness would just go away. Sad really, but whatever the reason, he hadn’t confided in hersince.
She stopped what she was doing for a moment, thinking how funny it was that a man could so easily donate his sperm, yet he refused to give hisfeelingsaway.
Annabel returned to the dishes and continued to ponder their actual interaction; she decided that it was a procedure more than anything else. A procedure whereby every Wednesday night Dan would arrive and more or less go straight up to the bathroom, then job done, simply leave her, and the turkey baster, to it. It all felt quite formal considering she hoped to carry his baby; Annabel couldn’t help but think she should be getting to know at least a little bit about the man. In time, their child was bound to have questions regarding his or her father; questions that she wanted to be able to answer. As things stood, she didn’t even know Dan’s favouritecolour.
On the other hand, she had to admit that their limited dialogue was hardly surprising. Even aside from his mother’s illness; they hadn’t exactly had the best start to their pregnancyjourney.
Her stomach lurched as she recalled the first time he camearound.
Annabel lead the way upstairs, her legs shook with nerves. Her palms felt sweaty as she sought the security of her wedding ring, sliding it across its chain, first one way and then the other, with each and every step. Finally, coming to a standstill, she indicated to the only open door on the landing, the entrance to the bathroom. Dan just stood there. Her heart raced as she stared at him, wondering what he was waiting for. He stared at her as if wondering what she was playing at. Then it dawned on her. This wasn’t quite the stairway to heaven he’d been anticipating. Suddenly panicked, instinct took over and without thinking, she shoved him inside. The poor man almost toppled into the bath as she slammed the door shut. Left standing on her own, Annabel burned withembarrassment.
It was all her fault, of course. She should have made it clear from the beginning that they wouldn’t actually be sleeping together. From then on, he’d been more than happy to just do the business and go. Although after a mix up like that, Annabel could hardly blame him. She sighed. If she was ever going to learn anything about Dan, it was obvious the effort would have to comefromher.
As she placed the last of the washing up on the draining board, Annabel heard the front door open and close. She grabbed a tea towel to dry her hands, and questioned who it could be. It wouldn’t be Dan. He always rang the bell and waited for her to let him in. Besides, he wasn’t due just yet anyway, and unlike hers, his timing wasimpeccable.
‘It’s only me,’ a voicecalledout.
‘Of course,’ said Annabel. ‘Rebecca.’
Annabel could have kicked herself. While her sister had, inadvertently, been the one to spur her into action with regards to Dan, her annoyance had since calmed down and unfortunately, she still hadn’t gotten around to mentioninganything.
Having already shown her disapproval on the family planning front, the last thing Annabel wanted was Rebecca causing another scene. Keeping quiet until a pregnancy test proved positive had seemed like the best thing to do. She realised her mistake and, knew she had to get rid of her. Why, oh why, hadn’t she considered the possibility that both Rebecca’s and Dan’s paths mightcross?
Annabel calculated that she still had about fifteen minutes before Dan got there, she told herself that with a bit of luck, Rebecca wouldn’t be staying long. She never usually did. Her flying visits were more out of habit these days, a habit that stemmed from the time of Tom’s death. Back then, her sister had all but moved in. She would sit for hours listening to Annabel cry, comforting her, making sure she ate, and showered even; acts that Annabel would be forever grateful for. However, despite that period having long since passed, she still popped in regularly to make sure all was well. This was something Annabel continued to appreciate, even if her visits could sometimes be a bit fraught, or, in this case badlytimed.
‘Oh,’ said Rebecca. Making her entrance, she looked somewhat surprised. ‘You’regoingout.’
Annabel had forgotten about her posh clothes and looking down at her attire, quickly realised they gave her just the excuse she needed. Knowing she always went red when she told a fib, she willed herself not to blush. ‘Erm, yes,’ she replied. ‘Iam.’
Annabel threw the tea towel to one side and tried to appear convincing. She hated lying, but at the same time, didn’t think she had a choice. On the one hand, if she admitted she’d taken to dressing up for absolutely no reason, her sister was liable to get her committed. On the other, if she confessed to her weekly appointment with Dan, her sister was liable to commitmurder.
She imagined the two different scenarios; one of them involving a strait jacket, the other a pair of hand cuffs. Neither of the pictures was pretty, and to save either of them from being locked up, she made a show of checking the time again. ‘In fact, I should probably be leaving anytimenow.’
‘Not to worry,’ saidRebecca.
Annabel resisted shovelling her out the door as she waited for her to leave. But instead of moving, her sister just stoodthere.
‘Was it anything important?’ Annabelasked.
‘Nothing that can’t wait, I suppose,’ she replied. She tried to raise a smile. ‘I just wanted your advice on something,that’sall.’
