Annabel shifted in her seat, wishing he’d just move the conversation on. ‘A hit and run. Some young lad, according to witnesses, although they nevercaughthim.’
‘I’ve only ever known one person die,’ said Dan. ‘My dad, when Iwasten.’
Despite feeling uneasy with the subject matter, Annabel tried to look reassuring. ‘I’m sorry to hear that,’shesaid.
As the room fell quiet once more, Annabel didn’t just feel uncomfortable, she felt awkward. She knew Dan was working up to something but already felt out of her depth. Out of all her family and friends, she’d been the only one to suffer any real drama in life. And she’d gotten so used to receiving comfort it was as if she’d forgotten how to give it, a realisation made worse when tears began to well inDan’seyes.
She’d never actually seen a grown man cry before. The men she knew weren’t prone to demonstrating their emotions like this. Even at Tom’s funeral, the attending males managed to keep their feelings in check. Unlike them though, Dan seemed to wear his heart on his sleeve. She considered his emotional honesty a refreshing change, at the same time knowing that if he went into a complete watery breakdown, she’d be useless. His tears would end up a horrible embarrassment to the bothofthem.
She reached out and placed a consoling hand on his, hoping it wouldn’t come to that. However, he immediately withdrew from the gesture. An action that left her feeling a bit silly and with her palm now just resting on the counter, she toopulledback.
‘And now my mum’s dying too,’hesaid.
Jesusthought Annabel. No wonder the guy was a walkingwreck.
She watched him take a deep breath and then slowlyexhale.
‘She told me the other night as I was about to leave for yours. That’s why I didn’tturnup.’
Annabel didn’t know what to say. She’d realised whatever was going on had to be serious. His demeanour had told her that. However, she certainly hadn’t anticipated hearing somethinglikethis.
‘I know,’ said Dan. ‘What akicker,eh?’
Annabel pictured herself stomping around these last few days and immediately felt ashamed. When he’d stood her up, she hadn’t even considered the possibility he might have had good reason; that he’d have something more important to deal with. How could she be soselfish?
‘How long does she have?’ sheasked.
‘Let’s just say we’re talking months, not years,’ Dan replied. ‘She was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer, except now it has spread to her spine. I should’ve known something was wrong, I could see she was losing weight. I put it down to some stupid diet she’d gone on, low carb or something. First she was cutting the crusts off of her bread, then refusing to eat bread at all. Then she stopped eating potatoes.’ He took a sip of his tea. ‘Now I know why. Food like that can’t get past thetumour.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ said Annabel. She of all people knew what it was like to losesomeone.
Annabel gave him a moment; she couldn’t help but think about the night Tom died. She could see herself pacing the length and breadth of the hospital family room.Family room,she silently scoffed. Such a title suggested a sense of comfort. Yet, with its plain, white washed walls, and hard, plastic chairs, let alone the reasons for its very existence, it didn’t exactly live up to its name. The police officer who’d driven her there tried to do his job and offer support, but everything that came out of his mouth sounded hollow, and she just wanted to scream at him to shut up. She didn’t, of course. She just stopped listening and instead, prayed like she’d never prayed before. She felt the all-consuming desperation as she willed Tom to live; he couldn’t leave her. Not now, not ever. She pictured the doctor as he entered the room. No words were necessary, his face said it all, and as the room suddenly started to spin, Annabel felt her legsbuckle.
Annabel saw the same kind of desperation in Dan’s face. Experience told her the last thing he needed right now was a string of platitudes, knowledge that left her almost too scared to speak for fear of saying the wrongthing.
She wondered if she should feel relieved that Tom had been taken in an instant. There one minute and gone in the next. She hadn’t been forced to watch him getting sicker and sicker, all the while knowing there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it. How on earth did anyone copewiththat?
‘I really am sorry,’shesaid.
She watched him take another deep breath and hastily wipehiseyes.
‘Of course, it’s just like her to refuse treatment,’ he said, trying to raise a smile. ‘She doesn’t see the point in dragging things out an extra few weeks, especially if she’s too ill toenjoythem.’
‘What about you?’ asked Annabel. ‘What do youthink?’
‘It’s not about me, is it?’ said Dan. ‘I have to respect her wishes.’ He took a sip of his tea, the poor man’s hands shaking as he struggled to keep it together. ‘All I can do is be strong for her sake, which is really hard when she won’t even talk about it. She’s acting like there’s nothingwrong.’
Annabel reached out once more; pleased to find that this time he didn’trecoil.
‘It’s always the good ones, isn’t it?’ he said, a sentiment with which Annabel whole-heartedlyagreed.
‘What’s your mum like?’ she asked. During her own dark days, talking about Tom had a way of making her feel better and she assumed the opportunity to talk would benefit Dan too. ‘Tell meabouther.’
Just the mere thought of his mum made him smile, except now it wasn’t just with his lips, Annabel saw his whole facelightup.
‘She’s fun,’ he said. ‘You’d like her. Although she’s completely mad with it, nothing at all like yourtypicalmum.’
‘Inwhatway?’
