It’s sweet. Another example of the man, it seems, Felix has become. Gentle and caring. Considerate.
Last night was, without a doubt, the best sex of my entire life. It’s laughable to make that statement because nothing else even comes close. At this point, I’m not sure those other encounters I experienced evencountas having sex.
“Hey.”
I startle when Felix comes out of the bathroom. For some reason, I find myself wishing I had more time to get myself ready, despite the fact that he sawallof me last night. No makeup, no pretty dress.
“Hey,” I manage, clearing my throat and meeting his eyes. To my surprise, instead of deep, foreboding dread, something else bubbles up out of me.
Laughter.
“Okay,” Felix says, cracking a grin of his own. “Not exactly the response a guy wants after a night like that…”
“No,” I say, waving my hand in front of my face. “It’s not that, it’s just…” I take a second to calm down, then, using my pajama top to wipe the tears from my eyes, I say, “How are you always getting me into these situations?”
His smile fades a tiny bit. “Were you—I mean, I thought you were okay with everything that happened—”
“No, no, I mean—yes. I was enthusiastically consensual, Felix. But I just—don’t you think this is going to complicate things?”
He stares at me for a moment, then shrugs and takes a seat on the bed, dipping the mattress down and making me slide a bit toward him.
“Here’s what I think,” he says, clearing his throat. “I think you’re obviously a beautiful woman.”
Theobviouslyhits me, because for most of my life, that has not been obvious. Not to others, not to Felix, and definitely not to myself. I swallow those feelings down, trying to focus on the here and now.
Felix goes on, “And the mating marks—they’re so—I mean, you felt it, too? That first day? It’s a sexual thing. That’s our bodies. Reacting to one another. And I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing. Maybe it will make it more convincing.”
“Do you think other people will know?” I ask, the thought of that bringing a blush to my cheeks.
Felix fixes me with a teasing look before reaching out and twisting a lock of my frizzy hair around his finger.
“I hope they will,” he says, his voice thick. “Makes me look pretty good.”
He’s playing the part, the logical voice says in my head.Method acting.
“Okay, so what are you proposing?” It’s hard for me to talk when he’s touching my hair like that. It’s something I can’t feel, or something more like a phantom touch. The knowledge that he’s feeling me, but I’m not feeling him. The sheer proximity of his hand to my skin.
“I think we stop trying to fight the physical element,” Felix says simply.
The word comes out before I have time to think about it. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah,” I say, my mind already working overtime to reassure me. We can have some fun. Why not relieve some tension with Felix? He obviously knows what he’s doing. And he’s right—the mating markissexual. It’s going to be torture to go through it without a little release.
It’s not like I’m planning to take a mate. It’s not like Felix is thinking of this as anything more than a chance to score. Knowing him, he’s probably just thinking of this as a little bonus for the work of convincing the lawyer about our mating.
I could never be romantically involved with him. No matter how much I dreamed about that as a girl, how much I dreamed that he would walk into the cafeteria and claim me.
He never did. He did the opposite, humiliating me. Causing the whispers and pointing in my direction. What sort ofdesperate loserwas I? How could I think I had a chance with him?
For a second, I close my eyes, focusing on bringing back that hurt, centering it inside me. Using it to block off the warm, melting feelings that rise up any time I look at Felix now.
“Okay,” Felix whispers, and I open my eyes, watching him as he climbs across the bed toward me, his arms bracing on either side of me. “So, how about a little more before we have to check out?”
I should say no.
But his scent is around me. His body is warm, and my core is already tightening with need for him. I throb with want for the pressure only he can provide.
