As if could see her every fault and her every strength, and he accepted all of it.
It was more unconditional acceptance than she’d ever gotten from her own family. And while her friends at school accepted her for her odd foibles, this was different because…
Because you love him.
She swallowed hard as the words hit like a blow. That couldn’t be right, could it?
That wasn’t what this was.
It was affection for an old friend, that was all. She drew in a shaky breath as she tried and failed to convince herself.
Yes, surely these odd sensations were just a new form of friendship for a long-lost friend.
“Jane, you look faint, are you all right?” When she didn’t immediately respond, Luke added, “Did you eat enough today? I should have had Cook prepare something special. It’s a taxing day and—”
“Luke.”
“Yes?” He was watching her with such warmth, such concern, such kindness…
Was it possible he felt the same? Or was that just wishful thinking?
“Luke, I…”
Luke, I changed my mind. I want my freedom, but not from you. I want my independence but with you at my side.
None of that fully covered what she wanted to say, and as the music came to an end and they stopped together near his family, she knew she’d lost her chance.
“There you are.” Luke’s grandfather came over and clapped a hand on Luke’s shoulder. “Might I have a word?”
Luke cast her a questioning look, and she nodded quickly.
“I’ll be back to see you in to dinner,” he promised.
She nodded again and as the two men walked away, Luke’s mother came over to join her. “How are you holding up, my dear?”
Jane forced a smile that she hoped covered the world of confusion and swirling emotions going on beneath the surface.
Apparently it did not do its job because Luke’s mother frowned, her eyes growing wide. “Oh, my dear, what is the matter?”
“Nothing,” Jane said too quickly. And then, “I just…it’s all happening rather quickly, isn’t it?”
The dowager marchioness smiled kindly and took her hand. “It’s overwhelming, is it not?”
“Yes. It is. And…” She should stop talking. But Luke’s mother looked so kind and understanding. Luke got that from her, she realized.
And it was one of so many qualities she adored about him. “I’m confused, that’s all.”
His mother tipped her head to the side and studied her. “May I give you a word of advice?”
Jane nodded quickly and Luke’s mother smiled. “If you have something to say, say it before the wedding. Honesty between a married couple is crucial to a good partnership and…and one thing I learned from experience is that after the nuptials are over and the deed is done, as it were…” She trailed off for a moment and then sighed. “Well, the deal is done then, isn’t it?” She laughed but it had a sad tinge. “Start as you mean to go on, is all I’m saying.” She patted Jane’s hand, “Start as you mean to go on.”
Jane nodded, her heart rate picking up as those words hit home.
That she could understand. Those words of advice were actionable and wise. “Will you excuse me for a moment?”
“Of course, dear.”
Jane headed toward the hallway where Luke had disappeared with his grandfather. Perhaps she could catch him alone for a moment before he returned to the party and…
