I have removed all my scars, through meticulous healing, as if I could rid myself of any weaknesses and failures ... except for this one. At first, it was a reminder of my hatred of her.
Now, it’s just areminder of her.
I should heal it, after this.
I know I never will.
And even if I did ... it wouldn’t matter. For she has scarred my very soul.
On the day of the plan, I wake up with unnerving calm. My eyes blink open and I feel—nothing.
Just like before.
It’s almost a relief. Like my soul has remembered it is a ruler and shouldn’t feel anything. Like I have finallyremembered myself.
Yes. It is a relief.
I walk through the world like a ghost. I stare at myself in the mirror as I put on my armor, piece by piece, a distant roaring overtaking my senses.
I am no one. I do not matter. All that matters is my duty, and my realm. I think only about the last few centuries, before the last several months, beforeher. I think of all the years fighting the dreks. The thousands of warriors lost. The innocents who have perished.
I know what I must do. It’s what I’ve been trained for.Idon’t matter.Shedoes not matter.
It’s in that state that I meet Isla at the cave.
“Are you ready?” I ask, my tone distant. Matter-of-fact.
“Yes. Are you?”
At that, a dull instinct tells me to call this off. To keep her far away from that sword.
But then my father’s voice is in my head.Love kills kingdoms. My realm is almost at its ruin. I will do what is expected of me.
I nod.
She nods back. And then she’s gone, off to wait near the cave’s entrance.
It all feels distant, like it’s happening to someone else, just like portaling to the front of a battlefield. Just like unsheathing my blade. Just like uncurling my shadows.
Turning off my emotions and justdoing. Just killing. Just being a cold mask against the anguish and terror and pain. Just performing a duty.
I drop the orb in my hand, and the sparks erupt immediately, shooting in a storm of stars, the enchantment from the Starling market.
Dragons are attracted to shining objects. I practically paint the sky silver, for just a moment.
And the creature comes shooting out of the cave.
Now it’s too late, that distant voice in the back corner of my mind says.
Too late to call Isla back.
Too late, as the beast bounds toward me. I turn and run, just like leading an enemy away. Just like I have countless times, in a diversion. Just like I have runtowarddanger. My mind is empty. Focused.
It is so easy, feeling nothing.
Far away, I hear the traps setting off, over and over, the ones Isla meticulously practiced.
Isla.
