“Nottrapped... just ... protected,” she says, and it isn’t quite a lie. It isn’t quite the truth either. She asks another question. “Have you ever been in love?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Kings of Lightlark do not fall in love. It makes us vulnerable. Our power becomes unprotected.” I look over at her, knowing it’s something we have in common. “I suppose we are similar in that regard ... in our inability to have that.”
Her curse means she can’t fall in love. It would be a death sentence to whoever she is with. Is that why she wants to break it? The thought pierces right through my skull. Is she ... falling in love with someone?
With someoneelse?
“Do you think it’s possible for a ruler to love another ruler?” she asks. “Truly, without any agenda?”
I’m right ... sheisfalling in love. And I know with who. My stomach sinks. I feel bitterness, even though she hasn’t lied to me.
“No,” I say, meaning it, because I’ve yet to see a selfless love between rulers in my long life. “Not truly.”
Part of her seems to wither. “So, your brother really wasn’t in love with his bride-to-be?”
The topic of my brother upends various emotions, and I bury them deep. I work hard to make my tone casual, even though this is a sore topic. “Egan loved Aurora. But not in that way.” In the years of their engagement, they became close friends. Confidants. But he never loved her, not the way she wanted him to.
Though I suppose hedidlove another ruler ...
I wasn’t around them enough to see if it was true love, without an agenda. How could it be? Rulers have to think of their realms. I meant what I said to her. True, selfless love between rulers doesn’t exist. It can’t. I briefly wonder if I’m trying to convince myself of the fact ... or if I truly believe it.
“How would you know?” she asks.
I meet her gaze then. It’s easy to know if love is true. For rulers ... there is a sure way. “They didn’t share abilities.” She looks even moredeflated, and I hate that my words had that effect on her ... even though they were the truth.
“Your turn,” she says.
My chest feels tight. Around her, I forget my crown, but her words force me to remember my own realm. Myownduties. And the fact that my partner seems to be falling in love with my greatest enemy.
Could she truly be having these feelings so soon? Could he really care about her, when he’s told me himself that he doesn’t care aboutanything or anyone?
I must know.
“Did you know Grim prior to the Centennial?”
“No.”
Truth.
She’s telling the truth. But it doesn’t make sense.
She rolls her eyes, as if sensing my turmoil. “I’m not working with him against you, don’t worry.”
Truth. Pure, sweet truth.
What else could I ask for? Her words are firm and specific. She isn’t working with him. She isn’t working with him againstme. I feel a surge of relief and surprise.
She continues. “What’s your favorite part of Lightlark?”
I don’t know if it’s her unexpected honesty, all the blood loss, the relief that she’s fully confirmed she still isn’t working with Grim, or the fact that I just had that strange dream, but I admit something I have only ever told Enya.
“There’s this secluded stretch of beach on Sun Isle, along a cliff, with giant coals in the water that sizzle when the sea hits them. The sea is a strange shade there ... dark green.”
I look at her, and I don’t know what compels me to say the next words, but I do. “The color of your eyes.” My favorite color.
