“Why are you going through my closet, you asshole?” I said hotly, snatching it away from him.
Jesse looked up and I saw tears glistening in his eyes. His massive hands looked strangely empty suddenly without the stuffed animal there.
“I remember that day we went to the aquarium. Watching your face when you got to feed the otters was the best thing ever.”
“I remember that day too,” I said. “Back when I thought you were the only man in the world I could trust with my heart.”
Jesse looked up and I saw he was shaking.
“I fucked up, didn’t I, Josie?”
I didn’t know what else to say.
“Yeah. Yes, you did, Jesse.”
He put his head in his hands and began to cry.
And real fucking tears, leaking down his cheeks and between his fingers.
The room was quiet except for low sound of him sobbing.
“Shit,” he said, and his voice sounded shaky. “I’m a fucking mess.”
“Go home,” I said, for what felt like the hundredth time.
“No,” he said. “I’m going to stay here until you believe me that I’m committed to you. I want to marry you. I know I don’t want any other woman as long as I live.”
“You had your chance,” I said.
Then Jesse was on his knees, gripping me around the waist in a hug so tight it took my breath away.
“No! Please, baby!”
He pressed his head against my stomach, his gold hair standing out against the gray of my shirt.
“This is ridiculous,” I said sternly. “This is not going to work.”
“Nothing was right without you,” he said, his voice sounding muffled from how hard he was pressed against my belly. “Everything was shit. It sucked. I can’t live without you.”
“You should have thought of that before you broke up with me.”
I crossed my arms across my chest, very unwilling to think about how warm and strong his arms felt around me, how they’d always felt around me.
“I was an idiot,” Jesse said, his voice cracking. “I thought I needed to be some kind of fucking big man, but it was the stupidest, most arrogant mistake of my life.”
“So your little plan to upgrade didn’t work, and now you’re crawling back?” I asked caustically, trying to pry his arms off me.
It was no use. Jesse was built like a fucking brick wall, massive shoulders and thick arms holding me tight, his broad chest clutching me so tightly I could feel his ragged breathing all through my legs.
“Yes,” he groaned. “I’ll crawl on a bed of nails, I’ll beg on the fucking floor. Just please. Say you’ll give me another chance.”
I let the silence stretch between us.
“No. And I don’t need you anymore. I have Bryan to fulfill any sexual needs I have, unless of course I decide to keep going out with Karel.”
“Please no,” he said brokenly, and I felt wet on my T-shirt, his tears soaking through the fabric and plastering it to my body.
“I know I look like a pitiful desperate mess, but for you I am. I am desperate for you and I don’t care who knows it. It can’t be over. It can’t be over, Josie. Please say there’s a little hope.”
