I couldn’t help but giggle. “You really know how to make a girl feel special, Fraser.” Despite the turmoil from earlier, I drowned in everything that was him.
He was…merde, he was everything, and he didn’t even know how much I trusted him. How much I was letting him in and falling in love with him.
He reached out, gently lifting my chin so our eyes met. “Because you are special, not just as a driver but as a woman. And anyone who can’t see that is blind.” My heart raced and a warmth spread through me that had nothing to do with the balmy Monaco evening.
I trailed my hand up his abs until it rested on his heart. He drew in a sharp breath, and as much as I wanted to cave to the desire stirring in me, I had more to get out, more that was clawing at me to confess.
His compliments caught me off guard, disarmed me, not because they felt insincere, but because they felt real. I wanted to believe him—to hold onto his words and let them snuff out every cruel thing I’d been told—but years of doubt weren’t so easily silenced.
My eyes dropped from his to look at my hand on his shirt, the soft fabric beneath my palm. “My ex had said…” My throat tightened, the words nearly choking me. “He said I was just a distraction. That I was never going to be enough. Not as a woman, not as a driver, not for my family.”
I turned away and gripped the railing with my left hand. I let it hold me steady as the words poured out.Callum’shand was on mine seconds later, as if silently saying,I’ve got you.I swallowed hard, blinking back the sting in my eyes. “When he said I wasn’t good enough, it wasn’t just about him. It felt like hearing my parents all over again, telling me to slow down, to letÉtienneshine. I hated that it still got to me. That even years later, someoneelse’swords could unravel me.”
“Is that why what I said earlier—when you asked me to kiss you…” His voice trailed off, and I could tell he was trying to think about how to phrase his question.
“It put me right back into those final moments with my ex,” I admitted. “I’m tired of being someone’s dirty little secret and being seen as an object. So when you wouldn’t kiss me… you said it in your hotel room, too. That’s why I freaked out. It’s already hard enough not to feel like every insult is proof that they were all right about me.”
“Fuck, Auri, I’m so sorry.”
“I realize now he’s a narcissist,” I continued, taking a small sip of my wine, the crispness biting at my tongue and throat, a small comfort against my inner turmoil. “I was so wrapped up in feeling wanted that I didn’t see it for what it was. And whenit ended, I was stuck. Drowning inF2. And I needed to surface—fast.”
“So you fought,”Callumsaid, his voice laced with admiration and understanding.
“I did. I reached out to other leagues—Formula E,IndyCar. I was willing to let go of myF1dream for the time being. I had meetings lined up, but they all wanted to see how I finished the season first. The championship was close with only three races left, and I knew I had to prove myself. So I pushed harder than I ever had before.” I could breathe easier now. “That’s the thing about being told you’re not enough. You either let it break you, or you prove them wrong.”
I let out a shaky breath, the weight of those weeks pressing down on me even now. “But then… the last race happened.AbuDhabi.”
Callum’sbrow furrowed, his hand tightening slightly on mine.
“I won,” I said, the word almost bitter on my tongue. “I won theF2championship, but I didn’t even get to celebrate. A few hours later, my brother…” My voice cracked, and I turned away, wishing I had something to hold me together. “Étiennecrashed. I was in the paddock, watching it all unfold, and suddenly none of it mattered. Not the championship, not the future I was trying to build. Nothing.”
The silence stretched, heavy and suffocating.Callumdidn’t speak, didn’t rush me, and for that, I was grateful.
“Obviously, he survived,” I said finally, my voice barely above a whisper. “But he was done. Too scared to get back in the car. And thenLuminisapproached me.” I waved my hand in the air. “You know all of that and parts of the next, but not the truth behind it all.”
“You wouldn’t even have to finish the story for me to be on your side.”
I paused and blinked at him. “What?”
“You’re not a villain, love. Don’t convince yourself that you are. Youdidearn your spot here, orHenricnever would’ve approached you.F1is the pinnacle ofmotorsports. Only twenty drivers on the grid. Less than eight-hundred drivers ever to participate in the sport. In comparison to every other sport on the planet, the margins are incredibly low. And you made it. Don’t sell your accomplishments short.”
My throat bobbed. I had never looked at it that way. I’d spent months consumed by guilt and refusing to let myself feel pride for my achievements. I’d never been given a space to feel anything but overshadowed, but now…
I could kiss him—Iwantedto kiss him. I wanted to show him how much he meant to me, ask him where he’d been my whole life, and beg him to never leave. But I didn’t. I just gave myself permission to finish laying it all out there.
My fingers twined with his, holding on for dear life. “I have a lot I want to say right now, but you’re the first person I’ve told this to.”
“Then I’m honored,” he murmured, voice thick. “Because I’d do anything to be the one you fall apart for.”
I didn’t mean to gasp, but I did. The air caught in my throat like a sob, like the kind of cry that had been buried for years under pride and survival instincts. And that was the moment I realized I already had. Ihadfallen apart—for him. In his arms. In his flat. In the silence between us when I didn’t have to pretend anymore.
I blinked hard, trying to breathe through the emotion clawing at my ribs. “Then you should know,” I whispered, voice shaking, “this is what it looks like.” My free hand swiped at my wet eyes, and God, I was tired of crying today. “Emotional carnage, aisle one,” I joked, my voice wobbling. God, I was tired of crying today. “So hot, right?”
The soft smile tipped the corners of his mouth up. “On you? Always. But also, I just have to point out, you got that English phrase correct.”
I scrunched my nose and laughed—light and sudden and all mine. It caught me off guard, but it was exactly what I needed to wrap this conversation up.
“AfterHenricleft the hospital, with an offer literally on the table, I said yes within hours to partake in post-season testing. He was still in the hospital, and I said yes. I told myself it was my chance, that I deserved it. But the truth? I was desperate. I needed to get away from my ex, fromF2, from everything. I beggedLuministo keep it quiet so I could tell my family on my terms. To this day, they don’t know I agreed to it while he was still hooked up to machines. If they knew the truth about how selfish I had been in some of my family’s worst moments…”
